Episode 019 Elevating Motherhood with Lori Beth Auldridge

Yayamamas community and blog.

There is a polarization in motherhood where it’s been “versus” and now there are humble mamas that want to be heard, understood, and loved as they are.

She holds Masters degrees in Children’s literature and Creative Writing

Social Media handles
Podcast Elevating Motherhood
Blog Yayamamas.com
IG @Lori Beth Auldridge
FB Elevating Motherhood
FB Yaya Mamas
WEBSITE elevatingmotherhood.com

Lives on Maui, married and has 3 daughters
She is remotely located and started a sisterhood of moms
They develop meal trains for each other

How to be a great friend: honesty and creating a space for people to be themselves and being understanding
Tip: Rather than show judgment, ask questions
Does she feel pressure? How was your morning? Are you sleeping? Bringing 								compassion to the table rather than drama.
Ask what are you giving rather than receiving?

Parallel behaviors with adults/children:
Children’s behavior often stems from an underlying inner turmoil. They need a safe place and compassion.

If a mama exudes “desperate energy” that may seem over the top, it may not be part of their personality but rather just being excited about being able to have an adult conversation.

She reminds us to not compare yourself to other moms. Not inviting that energy into your group. That’s not why they’re there. Be curious about each other. Offer suggestions of what has worked for you. Sometimes curiosity can feel forced at first especially when you’re distracted with kids.

Avoiding mainstream motherhood - “opt out” of what society says you have to do
Connection time for her and her family happens all day. Not seeking a label. Not trying to compare. There is no one size fits all answer.
Takes away pressure, guilt, judgment, ‘rule-following’ mentality.

Mindset shift in Motherhood - coping mechanism during 2nd pregnancy that was physically hard. Her swollen fingers caused her to take her rings off and she got strange looks and comments about being pregnant and not being married. She got a larger ring with the phrase “Where we are” to remind her that it was only a season. It’s just where we are right now. It reminds her in a good way that this won’t last forever and to be present in the moment.

Mantra “My favorite people” to remind her “this is how I treat ‘my favorite people.’” Helps her come back to why she is acting the way she is.

Name it to tame it - identify what’s going on so you can bring the behavior under control.
Being careful to not shame your kids while lovingly correcting them.
Advice: Self-empowerment - show up to mom’s group, empower yourself through your friendships, then in turn empower them. Books, podcasts, articles, website on the internet. Look it up! Tap into them.
Monica Swanson - Boy Mom Podcast. She had a yelling problem.

So many options:
Positive Parenting
Janetlansbury.com (Podcast, No Bad Kids: Toddler discipline without shame)
Simplicity Parenting (Kim John Payne)
Love and Logic
Rie Method (strict)
Piece mill it together for every individual child

Empathy can change both you and your child. I see you, I’m sorry, I’m here.
Follow through with the consequences rather than repeating yourself and/or threatening your kids with consequences when they know you won’t hold them accountable.

Every child is different. Some need to know WHY? Others need the power of choice (but make the choices both things that you need done).

“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard

When feeling overwhelmed, ask: What do I need in this season? Table the other things. For me, table the sports so you don’t have to commit to being places. Choose where you want to spend your time.

Guided journals: the things that come out of my pen are far different than the things that come out of my mouth (prayers). It can direct our thoughts toward our homes/goals/lives. Lori Beth has a monthly topic with daily prompts to make it doable everyday.

“Me time” - plan in white space where you can think. Put pen to paper. It’ s important to model positive, healthy behavior for my kids. “My thoughts are worthy of notation.” You are important. What you want, think, feel, and need are important. It is powerful when you put pen to paper.

Aligning actions and values - slowing down, taking the time to find out what your values are and what kind of mother you want to be. Ask yourself what you want your days to look like and be filled with. We get clarity in what we want our family to look like and realize what we are working toward. It helps us grow and learn in that and realign “Is what we’re doing aligning with our values?”

It also helps you say no easier when things cross your path that don’t align with your values. Therefore, the more peace that comes into your motherhood journey.