MARRIAGE - PREPARATION COURSE

FIFTEENTH LESSON

The First Months of Marriage

In any new enterprise, a successful beginning is a matter of very great importance. Especially is this the case during those first months of married life when the foundation is being established for harmonious life together. Upon this base, faulty or strong, will be erected the structure of the future years.

We shall not go so far as to declare that the first year of marriage determines irrevocably the lifetime happiness of the home but we do not hesitate to say that it may very easily do so. It is, of course, theoretically always possible to correct the faults that may have marked this period of introduction to married life and to reconstruct a stronger and more durable bond. The point that we wish to establish, however, is that it is better by far to make an excellent beginning than to have to face the later unpleasant alternative of rectifying mistakes made during this time. Upon the degree of success or failure that marks this first year will inevitably depend much of the future welfare of the new home.

But, to be able to do something definite to gain that success and avoid that failure, we must not limit ourselves to general terms like success and failure. The specific need of these months can be described briefly in the one word: adaptation.

Now we must not permit this word, adaptation, to conjure up in our minds all sorts of frightening conjectures as though this were something new to us. After all, from the very moment of birth we began a process of adaptation, adapting ourselves to the world in which we were growing up. Day by day, we adapted ourselves to live harmoniously with our family, with our playmates, schoolmates, co-workers, with strangers. We adapt ourselves’ to climatic changes by changing our apparel; in the matter of food, diet is a form of adaptation; in traffic, we adapt our actions to traffic signals, etc. These few examples will suffice to show that adaptation is not something new; in reality, it is for everyone part and parcel of every-day living from the infant’s first breath to life’s last sigh.

With the approach of the wedding day, the couple must recognize that, beginning on that day, they will as bride and groom enter upon a state of life that calls for further adaptation. Growing up in different environments and therefore with resulting different characteristics, they must now begin the process of blending two lives into one; attitudes that had hitherto been strictly forbidden to them in the single state now become part of their daily living. The whole course of their future life together calls for adaptation, each towards the other, and each individually and both together towards their home and towards the outside world: “And so you begin your married life by the voluntary and complete surrender of your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which you are to have in common. Henceforth you belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously. Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy; and perfect love can make it a joy.”

This fifteenth lesson will offer some practical advice on how to achieve this oneness. To gain this maximum benefit, it will be necessary to recall the subject matter of Lessons 3, 5, 11 and 12. Especially to be remembered but more especially to be put into practice are the sound remarks dealing with the period following the marriage ceremony: the reception, the honeymoon (See Lesson 10).

I. THE FIRST RELATIONS

If, in their new life as husband and wife, there is something new, assuredly that thing is their conjugal relations. That these relations function smoothly from the beginning is a matter of uttermost importance ... and to attain this end it is necessary that God preside over their hearts. Vitally essential, also, is the knowledge of how to proceed in this matter with all the tact and delicacy a loving heart can command.

1) REMEMBER GOD

May we offer a suggestion to each bride and groom? When, for the first time you find yourselves alone after your marriage, mutually and spontaneously turn your minds and hearts to God, the loving Source of your loving union, and through the Immaculate Heart of Our Lady of the Rosary consecrate your new life to Him and to her.

This idea is offered to you now for consideration before your marriage so that it may be part of your preparation, planning it as the first act of your married life together. Pursuing this pattern, you will be following the example of the first newlywed Christians: They had known our Lord or had heard about Him from those who had known Him ... and they recalled with what love and devotion Jesus had given Himself to the Church, His Spouse, and how in thus giving Himself to the Church He had made her the fruitful Mother of our souls. They remembered St. Paul telling them: “Let wives be subject to their husbands as to the Lord ... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church, and delivered Himself up for Her ... Let each one of you also love his wife just as he loves himself; and let the wife respect her husband.”

2) CONJUGAL RELATIONS

It was when Jesus gave His Blood for the Church that He loved Her to the most advantage and rendered Her fruitful. It will be thus when the husband by the marriage-act gives himself to his wife for the purpose of rendering her fruitful. Then will they, husband and wife, come to a realization of the beauty of the marriage-act, to an appreciation of the grandeur of their conjugal relations! Therein may they see a symbol of Christ’s gift of Himself to His Church, and the greatest testimony to their own mutual love.

The marriage-act is sublime, an act of human beings composed of both soul and body, an act in which the soul and body have their share. In the words of Sacred Scripture: “They two shall be in one flesh.”

Although the conjugal relations constitute the great event of the new life together, it is certainly not required that the marriage-act be consummated on the very first night. One might, in fact, well recommend the beautiful love story of Sara and Tobias and the Archangel Raphael, the patron of lovers, as a model worthy of imitation (Old Testament: Book of Tobias, Chap. 6). It would, however, be neither normal nor wise to delay this moment of union for too long.

Whereas on the one hand it is utterly erroneous to imagine these relations as something complicated, one must not on the other hand minimize the need for much understanding love, love that seeks the well being and the happiness of the other partner. The two become one by a cooperative act of mutual love and confidence. It is a beautiful act but, and we must remember this, it is an act consummated by the body. Being such, it requires that the newlyweds unite physically and it is or should be the first time for each of them.

Such union introduces something new into their lives and already the young woman will have given the matter some considerable thought. Now, nervous and shy, eager and yet fearful, all at the same time, she places her reliance on her husband to recognize and understand her natural apprehension at the thought of the approaching physical intimacy, this strange sentiment that pervades her being regarding a thing which she simultaneously dreads and desires and which depends as much upon one as upon the other for its success.

May we say a word here to the young man who is soon to become a husband? Even though your bride may be well informed in theory concerning matters that pertain to the physical aspects of marital relations, nevertheless most young women veil their dreams of marriage with so much idealism as to obscure (if not entirely ignore) the fact that her husband, as a male, is subject to the passionate reactions of his sex. Thus, your bride’s love for you will be most pure but likewise most unsubstantial... as for the Shining Knight of her Dreams! This is not to be scoffed at; in fact, upon the preservation of this attitude will depend much of your future happiness .... and so, although it is a beautiful thing to be the object of such love, it does impose on the man responsibilities that he must neither deride nor ignore.

How many loves go sour because of the young husband’s passionate haste is a matter of conjecture. So often, the husband, (whether through ignorance or thoughtlessness or selfishness) roughly smashes all the chaste and delicate sentiments which his wife harbours towards him. His haste in forcing upon her without any preliminary love­making the knowledge of the physical intimacy of sex life boomerangs upon him in a loss of respect that may prevail over a period of years. More than one young bride has been rudely stirred and shocked by her loved one’s brutality in the course of this first intimate union. Introduced to sex life in such a manner, it is scarcely surprising that she conceives for the marriage-act a loathing and repugnance, and the ecstatic love that she had for her husband she has never since been abia to recapture. Silent and bitter tears have dampened the pillow of many a young wife on her wedding night ... and the advice of one mother to her son is well worth repeating here: “My son, be considerate of your bride on your wedding night. It is the one time, above all others, when you should be most gentle and tender. And for this, you may be sure that she will be grateful all her life.”

“One must remember,” sqys Dr. Goedseels, “that from the beginning of conjugal living the wife is required to give to her husband the greatest possible proof of love: the unreserved and complete renunciation of her body, especially in that which is most intimate and secret. If we could but realize the delicate reserve, the reticence, the modesty which for so long have shielded her being, we could not help but realize also the profound grandeur and lofty sublimity of this total renunciation. For the young bride, frequently it is a great sacrifice laid upon the altar of love while her capacity to respond to the call of the flesh as yet lies dormant or confused. This is the grandeur of the sacrifice that, generously made, gives to her physical abandon­ment all its beauty, all its charm.”

Obviously, the husband should strive to understand this timidity, simultaneously so inspiring and so alluring. And yet, not even the most thoughtful husband would ever suspect this feminine point of view concerning marital life unless he has been told about it. Does he suspect, for example, how great is his bride’s desire for privacy while dressing? Without going into further detail, it is easy to understand the reactions of a woman upon admitting, for the first time, a witness to this intimate phase of her life.

It would be wrong on our part, however, to leave the impression that the full responsibility of these early intimacies rests entirely on the husband. The bride, too, has her own part to assume in the conjugal act. She must accept reality as it is: a thing that is beautiful and inspiring but nonetheless an act to be accomplished with her body and by her body ... and that it is God’s Plan and as such is blessed by Him. She must strive to understand her husband as he is (See Lesson 5). She will realize that God made her mate with passions that are easily aroused - which is as it should be since it is his place to act, to take the initiative, especially so in the matter of their first conjugal relations. She should therefore seek to understand, not misinterpret, this initiative on his part, no matter how it may differ from what she may have imagined or expected.

The husband, in turn, should avoid all abruptness and haste. He should be patient in leading his wife, by gradual and progressive stages, to complete union. He will encourage her to desire these complete unions, and the pleasure she derives from them will be the measure of his success and the reward of his patient efforts. For this reason, he must be careful to indulge in no close intimacies without having first aroused a desire on her part for them.

The wife should cooperate fully. Let her confide freely in the man she loves: their words of love and other manifestations of affection soon will overcome her shyness; then, with nature’s help, these will lead in the most normal manner to more and more perfect intimacy until they finally and mutually give themselves in the sacred marital act.

Often, this first intercourse may cause the wife a twinge of pain due to the rupturing of the membrane (hymen) which covers the entrance to the vagina. Add to this, on the wife’s part, a slight nervousness and timidity which renders the act somewhat more difficult to accomplish, - her renunciation is so great, so decisive, so strange! In occasional cases, the membrane is tough and the organs are so resistant that complete penetration requires several days to accomplish. In such circumstances, love will render the husband patient and the wife more receptive; it is a time also when there must be realized how much more is to be gained by being gentle than by being forceful and violent. If other complications arise, it is advisable to wait and seek the advice of someone who is competent to give it, for example, a doctor. To sum up: The husband should be patient and seek to arouse in his wife a desire for union; the wife should be receptive, accepting the joys of intercourse calmly and confidently.

In concluding this section, let us insist on the beauty, on the natural and the s’pernatural grandeur of the marriage act. Certainly, since God Himself created the bodies of the spouses, their genital organs are a vital and essential part of those bodies; God Himself made them in order to attract the spouses to the greatest physical intimacy, to realize the instinctive urge to be as one; He made the body of each in order to satisfy in the flesh the needs of their heart and soul to be united. Just as He made our voices to express our thoughts, so also did He make the genital organs to respond to a deep, ardent desire for utter union in order to thereby accomplish nature’s purpose and cooperate in the work of the Creator.

What mother has not clasped her child close to her breast and smothered it with kisses, murmuring endearingly the while that if possible “she would eat him alive,” so eager is she to penetrate in some manner into his very being, to absorb him in such a manner as to be entirely united with him! Thus is explained the spouses’ experience of the need for utter nearness. Nature urges them to unite, to be one, according to the words that God inspired Adam to proclaim at the sight of his wife: “This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh ... Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.” (Gen. 2, 23).

In brief, the marriage act should be considered as the normal, natural and exalted expression of love, an act of collaboration with God in His work of creation, a mutual enrichment and nutriment to the love of husband and wife ... and, if the spouses are in the state of grace, it is something supernatural and meritorious as well.

II. THE HONEYMOON

The process of adaptation mentioned above, while it has been going on throughout the period of courtship, begins in earnest when the newlyweds embark upon their honeymoon. It would be wrong to imagine that this adaptation can be postponed until such times as they return and settle down to the routine of daily living. Where two people are cast together in such intimacy, the need for “mutual give and take” begins at once. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise and so, at a time when love seems limitless, it becomes necessary for us to remind the newlyweds of the need for prudence and moderation!

Honey is sweet! But honey, taken in too copious quan­tities, scon becomes sickening and repulsive. On the honeymoon, it is well to remember this. Let restraint be your motto, generously practising forgetfulness of self in the interests of your partner’s happiness. This may be a period of sentimental and passionate effervescence but it can be also a time to strengthen oneself, not in an attitude of egoistic self-seeking but rather in the attitude of the complete giving of self. Agree mutually to be moderate, to make sacrifices for God’s love. Otherwise you incur the risk, during these first intimacies, of exhausting the pleasures of your unions.

We have warned the young husband about too great haste in these first relations. We would issue another warning, this time to young wives: “Foolish is the wife who, in her hunger for caresses and sensual satisfaction, forgets all restraint and, during the time of the honeymoon, leads her husband by all possible lures to the point of satiety.” We repeat: Honey is sweet, but honey, taken in too copious quantities, soon becomes sickening and repulsive.

We believe it wise to further remind newlyweds of the serious obligation, particularly during the honeymoon, to refrain from all public demonstrations of love (especially on the train, boat, or bus). These demonstrations, permissible in the privacy of one’s room, are in public a gross lack of good taste. To act in such a manner serves but to invite the ridicule and contempt of others. In addition, there is the matter of scandal that must be avoided.

It is imperative that spouses use some restraint in the matter of their physical unions. Carnal pleasure should nourish their marital love, not smother it by abuse. The marriage act is a proof of their love and a nourishment for it; it is not an invitation to, nor an excuse for, unrestrained abandonment to the hot demands of passions.

Forgetfulness of self in seeking the happiness of one’s partner will help from the beginning in the observance of this moderation, and will thereby safeguard the richness and beauty of legitimate love. These dispositions should be part and parcel of the marriage act itself. To understand what we mean, it is necessary to recall once again the normal differences between the two sexes: Man is so constructed that he quickly attains complete satisfaction during the marriage act; woman, however, is usually much slower to be roused. Nevertheless, it is highly desirable that both experience orgasm simultaneously. This point is important. We recall it to your attention without going into further detail.

Knowing that her husband experiences his greatest satisfaction at the moment of ejaculation, the woman will do her best to experience it at the same time. The husband, for his part, will be tenderly solicitous that his wife shall have her orgasm simultaneously with his own, a consideration that he might easily overlook or take for granted. He will discreetly pave the way with preliminary love-making and help her to attain complete satisfaction simultaneously with himself. Otherwise, suffering may result, suffering that she will hesitate to mention but which may arouse an actual feeling of frustration and repugnance making conjugal relations an unpleasant duty for her.

Concerning this, one physician writes: “The husband’s pleasure will be increased in proportion and to the same extent as his wife experiences the same satisfaction. Having felt so completely united in an act of love, they will find it easier to remain so during time of trouble. It is in the interests of all married men to realize that they have a real duty of understanding intelligence and expert devotion in this delicate matter.” Canon Dermine confirms this advice: “In this delicate domain of sexual relations the ideal would be that the spouses possess sufficient tact and delicacy and enough character, unselfishness and strength not to pester their mate by untimely or pressing demands nor to express a desire which does not truly correspond with the. other’s wishes. It is worth noting that, frequently, due to an innate and praiseworthy modesty, the wife hesitates to express her desire, and hopes that her husband will understand her unspoken need.” (See Lesson 5.)

What secret joy the wife experiences when she feels that her husband, in his consideration for her, anticipates her desire! Let us recall at this point that the instinctive aspiration of the woman is to be loved, to be sought after, not so much for the pleasures of the flesh as for her heart, her soul, her title of “dearly loved companion.” During the early months of homemaking, the young bride and groom should reach a mutual understanding on this delicate but essential matter of conjugal relations. According to a well-conducted inquiry, at least fifty percent of the difficulties experienced during the period of “setting up house” centre around the nuptial couch.

Complete adaptation in all the other spheres still remains to be made, adaptation that will be facilitated by these first days of mutual happiness. The young bride must acquire a wifely mentality and spirit so that throughout her life she will be the helpmate, the companion, of the man joined to her forever and one in being with her. Regarding her new life through God’s eyes, she will take advantage of this favorable time to intelligently shape her entire being to her husband’s habits, tastes, mind and heart. He, of course, must not neglect his own share in adapting himself to his wife’s characteristics and to his new life.

Such should be the ideal you seek together: To desire with humility, strength, and gentleness to be no longer but one in body, will, and heart. Bearing the imprint of the Sacrament and with the help of its grace, may your mutual rapture be the efficaceous sign of your unity, revealing the harmony of your souls and developing it still further. Briefly, your honeymoon is a precious time for your fusion of selves.

III. THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE

To be as one! Such is the desire of the spouses, of nature, and of God, and yet ... the moon of honey is not always a full moon! It wanes in the life of the newlyweds just as it does in nature where dreamland gives place to reality. To be as one is the reason for the marriage but with the passing of time the full light of day makes it more and more apparent that they are two: in their body, in their mind. The transition from the honeymoon to everyday living is not made without difficulty, leading one to believe the saying of the cynics: “Moon of honey, then moon of gall.” This transition, as we have noted, calls for adaptation. “It is necessary to realize that on the wedding day the newlyweds merely start establishing a union; nearly all the work of fusing still remains to be done ... or, better still, the interweaving, thread by thread, of two lives has still to be accomplished.” Work together, then, dear spouses, weaving during this time a solid fabric. You are the weavers of your happiness: Yours is the task to properly weave the double thread of your physical, social, intellectual, moral and spiritual life together.

1) PHYSICAL LIFE

Faulty education based on Hollywood standards may have given to one or the other a false concept of love: The husband perhaps looks upon the pleasures of the body as the important part of marriage and considers his wife as an object of his own self-satisfaction; he will, as a result, be lacking in gentle­ness and be forgetful or unaware of her needs. She, for her part, perhaps pictures marriage as a perpetual honeymoon. Hungry for the emotional tenderness and affectionate caresses of which her husband grows more and more sparing as he once more becomes interested in his work, the wife will worry for fear that he is growing indifferent, that she is losing his love. The more so may this be the case as the awakened passion of the wife may with time even exceed that of her husband. Furthermore, seeking in him a protector that she can admire, she finds him instead a child when disappointed, sick when it is a matter even of a simple cold. If he is “no hero in the eyes of his butler,” how much less so in the eyes of his wife in the greater intimacy of their life!

Besides, to the husband the wife seems less and less the goddess of his dreams and more and more an ordinary woman, less attractive, with hair frequently dishevelled. Easily made impatient by the thousand little nothings that play so large a part in her life, baffled by her indispositions so normal to her sex, which cause her to alternate between periods of passion and indifference, the husband must nevertheless try to understand his wife, to put himself in her shoes. The wife must not neglect to keep herself well-groomed and charming, attending to the matter of cleanliness with great care, not only as regards the home but in her personal hygiene especially. In all charity she must neglect nothing pertaining to this subject to which her husband attaches so much importance but concerning which he may perhaps never so much as hint despite the great and lasting damage that may result from such silence.

One question: a double bed, or twin beds? We have referred to this matter in a previous lesson. According to Dr. Monin: “It would seem that the double bed with its proximity of the bodies is to be preferred by the very fact that it favors hearts that are so easily upset, offended, even divided, by the thousand and one happenings of the day.” In your weaving keep the two threads together!

Happy are the brides who are prepared for the routine of home life by familiarity with it in their own home life! By contrast, what embarrassment awaits the young bride who is almost totally ignorant of housekeeping. During the first year, the meals are a stumbling-block in many homes; on the other hand, the young bride capable of assuming charge of a house assures herself of her husband’s respect and esteem. Doing everything to interest her husband in her and in the home, she will encourage him to do little jobs in and around the house which will serve to occupy his leisure time and attach him to his “nest.” How much stronger this attraction will be if improvements to their home are the result of their joint efforts!

Unfortunately, many a husband will draw attention to all that is lacking but will be utterly tongue-tied in front of a well-prepared meal. He should, of course, pay more attention to such things, noting the attempts his wife makes to please him, encourage her efforts, and appreciate her successes. He should show his gratitude for a warm meal by being on time. (And just a little hint, fellow husband: Until you’ve tried it, you have no idea of the amount of pleasure it gives your wife when you notice her “little surprises,” the things that she does to try to please you and make home more attractive for you!)

Thus, in his love for his home, the husband will “discover ways” of encouraging his partner; he will be always the first to notice any alterations, anything new or different, and to show his pleasure accordingly. He will not only guard against venting his feelings on his wife but, on the contrary, will make her feel that more than ever she is his “better half” and that he enjoys being at home with her. He will understand too why she, after being alone all day, has a need to open her heart as a means of forgetting the many little annoyances that beset her day.

2) SOCIAL LIFE

The humdrum tasks of preparing meals and caring for the home inevitably keep the housewife busy in the home throughout the greater part of the day. As a result, when evening comes, she may want to “drop everything and get out for a change of air.” On the other hand, the husband has been away at work all day and he wants to stay at home and rest. Thus arises another occasion for strife... or for mutual concessions. The ideal is that when they go out, they go out together. Preceding lessons have explained how the wife can be her husband’s guardian angel in this matter. They will both be careful, however, not to grow neglectful of each other whether in the privacy of their home life or in the presence of outsiders. Now, the husband should be the object of his wife’s constantly growing admiration; and he, in turn, should leave nothing undone to manifest to his wife that as far as he is concerned she is, even more than on their wedding day, the one preferred above all others.

Married couples will certainly not ignore the fact that they can gain much from mingling with others. Those who expect to find all the virtues rolled up together in one person are unreasonable enthusiasts. Similarly, those who insist on being everything to another are almost inhuman. It is perfectly correct for them to seek together, outside the home, other entertainments that suit them and that provide for their enrichment of mind and heart. To entertain and to be entertained are simply two sides of the same coin of social life. In their quest for relaxation and entertainment, they must be careful, however, to practise the resolutions taken while studying Lesson 4, on social relations. There is an old adage concerning this matter: “So many marriages, so many homes.” In other words, the “two threads” must be directed with prudence across their social life so as not to risk one of them in the weave of another home or of another life.

While on the subject of going out, we draw attention to a fault of the “too-loving” wife: monopolizing her husband’s leisure time to such an extent that he becomes a captive no longer able to take part in social activity and particularly in public affairs. While the wife’s place is primarily in the home, it must not be forgotten that the husband has special social duties with regard to civic matters. Many a man’s promising career has been ruined or arrested by the loving scheming of a wife who fell far short of her true role of helpmate.

Sometimes circumstances compel the young married couple to be apart (as was the case, for example, during the war years). Such a situation is laden with danger, espe­cially at a time when young husbands and wives have so great a need for each other. The reasons for any separation, therefore, must indeed be serious. “Defraud not one another,” writes St. Paul to married people, “except perhaps by consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer: and return together again, lest Satan tempt you...” (I Con 7, 5). When circumstances require such separation, then the union of souls must compensate for the physical separation. One young husband, called to military service, exemplified this attitude in the following words: “Nothing can prevent our being together. Material separation is nothing: I feel your soul united to mine. Not for an instant will you be apart from me. Do you think many are as completely one, lost one in the other, as we are, as we will be regardless of all distances?”

3) INTELLECTUAL LIFE

Acquired riches of the mind should be shared by the spouses in their desire to help the other partner profit as much as possible from all knowledge received. The union of minds will be greatly favored by mutual research concerning their state of life: lectures amicably discussed, exchange of views, conferences, courses on family guidance and child training, etc. The first year offers the bride an excellent opportunity to round out her practical knowledge of house-keeping, cooking, sewing, etc., as well as the art of arts: the raising of children. She will study everything that may be of interest or of help to her husband in his work. “Every woman should espouse her husband’s career since it is the central point around which the life of the family rotates.”

4) MORAL AND SPIRITUAL LIFE

Both husband and wife will want their moral and spiritual life to be marked by the greatest purity and ease of conscience, unhampered by worrying doubts or inquietude. Blessed by the Sacrament of Matrimony, with the graces of personal sanctification ever available to them, each by the other, for the other, with the other, woe to them if, instead of making their state of life a source of enrichment, they make of it an occasion of sin and of mutual damnation! The married couple must never forget therefore that even despite their mutual esteem and admiration, each of them is still bound by the consequences of original sin, each is still subject to temptation ... and so the need is frequently present to forgive each other’s failings.

During the days of courtship, “love is blind” and more easily deluded, seeing always the best. Later, the golden glow of the honeymoon glosses over many of the beloved’s flaws. But then, as time passes, as days grow into, weeks and weeks blend into months, realities become more glaring. Then becomes apparent how necessary was this Course of Preparation for Marriage that permits them now to “air” in amiable and frank discussions the difficulties and the trials that beset their souls. Such reciprocal confidences when hearts are understanding, generous and forgiving, foster greater spiritual intimacy and help “dispel the clouds that at times hide for a while the passing sun.” But, of prime importance to the success of these precious revelations are their eagerness to serve God with their entire being, and their devotedness each to the other.

Into their lives will come, also, times when conjugal relations are out of the question, periods when complete abstinence is required. Unless they have already trained themselves in self-control prior to such times, these periods will almost inevitably provoke great difficulty in suddenly acquiring a habit that had hitherto been despised or ignored. Better by far to inaugurate at the outset a program of moderation and self-control than to wait until they are confronted by the demands of the flesh at inopportune times when their untutored passions may easily lead them into danger of sin. It is nothing short of catastrophe when husband and wife, joined together in the sublime image of Christ and His Church, become for each other, reciprocally, the cause and means of their common downfall.

In somewhat similar vein we utter a further warning, this time directed more towards wives. During the menstruation periods, during the last weeks of pregnancy, and again during the several weeks following childbirth, the woman frequently seeks to compensate for the deprival of complete sexual satisfaction by increased manifestations of, and longings for, affection. Unfortunately, these very caresses which to her constitute an innocent display of tenderness through which her sexuality finds an outlet, provoke an opposite reaction in her husband. For him, they are but the means of rousing the sex instinct and of inflaming his hunger for sexual union - a hunger whose appeasement is forestalled by the wife’s own condition at that time. As one author remarks, “I believe that if women only realized this, the practice of conjugal continence would be rendered much less difficult.” We therefore suggest to wives that, at time when intercourse is impractical, you be sparing in your caresses even though at such intervals your desire to manifest your affection may be more intense than usual.

That pleasures of the flesh be not made the basis of love is a matter of utmost importance. Rather, let moral intimacy, the union of souls, occupy the important position. More and more, should the husband and wife seek to find God in all their dealings with each other, seeking always to draw deeper within the radius of God’s nearness and love; more and more should they strive to become reciprocally angels of God’s constant annunciations to them, the husband as His instrument in revealing His will in their intimate life together; the wife endeavoring to grow in Mary-like humility and trusting service: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done to me according to thy word.” And, for the husband, what rule of life could be more productive of spiritual wealth and happiness than Christ’s own principle: “What is pleasing to Him (My Father), I do always.”

While sharing a mutual physical life, why not establish the spiritual, supernatural, and divine life in like manner! Habitually solicitous for the other’s spiritual progress, each will strive to help the other draw ever closer to God since this is the purpose of the Sacrament which they themselves administered to each other. Praying together (especially their evening prayers), the family Rosary, confession together, Mass together, frequent Communion together, they will find together unsuspected avenues of deeper, richer, more profound life together as day by day Mother Church leads them to become “partakers of His divinity Who became partaker of our humanity.”

5) THE CHILD

If, today, many marriages risk failure, it is in most cases due to the fact that the husband and the wife are shunning the bond of love that could link them together in an unshakable union. As we mentioned in Lesson 5, woman is altruistic, devoted to others; self-centredness, when found in her, is much more detestable than it is in a man: Self love is entirely contrary to her true nature as a woman and hence so much the more disastrous.

For the woman, then, the child is the normal fruition of her being. Everything within her seeks this completion. Her entire being craves a child and destines her for maternity. According to St. Augustine, “the woman is a mother in her entire being.” Lacking children, she will know the deep pangs of frustration of her purpose and of her being.

On the other hand, the husband and wife bound together by their desire for children will grow ever closer with the realization of their hopes contained in the mother’s womb. Next to her heart the mother carries the fruit of their love; in a way her blood becomes that of her child and her nourishment becomes his; from her it takes its flesh; through her it is fed, it breathes, it lives. What an intimate possession, what a blessed dream! A poignant pity is felt for the poor women who have never known, who will never know this appalling, this marvellous, this exalting utilization of self, this terrifying and intoxicating pressing necessity, this alteration of the being in preparation for a “miraculous renewal.”

It is no surprise, therefore, that she commiserates her husband’s role to whom, in this greatest wonder of her world - the birth of a child, God has given no other participation than a brief instant of pleasure. It seems to her that her husband, in not having to suffer, to be consumed for the little being to come, to bear it in a body weighted down, is deprived of the greater role. And she is amazed with a kind of fearful pride at the immense dignity that God reserves for woman. Like the Immaculate Mother awaiting her Christmas, she relives in her body and in her soul the chaste ecstasy of the Mother of God, the Virgin of the Annunciation and of the Nativity.

The husband, at the sight.of the transformation which his wife is undergoing feels an increase of respect and affection. In his eyes, she has become a mother; she bears the fruit of his virility. Impregnated by him, a mother for him, his heart is warmed. This child is he, is she ... and his love grows from the child to the mother, from the mother to the child.

We insist on the fact that woman, destined by God and nature for the role of motherhood, cannot but gain physically and morally. When God gives a being a role to play, He also gives it all that is needed for the perfect fulfilment of that role. The evident destiny of the woman is. primarily motherhood. “The internal reactions ... produced during the course of pregnancy and lactation, normally cause the woman to blossom forth, to acquire a new poise ... benefits that she retains for the rest of her life. They are such distinctive characteristics that at first glance it is almost possible to distinguish a woman who has attained to motherhood from one who never has. It is this which has caused it to be said that a woman has only attained her complete physical maturity when she has become a mother and nurse,” for even in her role of nursing her child is found again the characteristic role of motherhood ... and God desires that it be so for her own welfare as well as for that of the child. “Far from ruining her beauty, nursing enhances it,” writes Dr. Combes. It was the general practice among the Greeks with whom beauty was a special cult. Actually, nursing improves the colour, animates the expression, gives the hair a silken gloss, makes the complexion clear. “They alone,” says Fonssagrives, “suffer from nursing the child, who wish to remain in the role of mother and at the same time enjoy all the immoderate pleasures of the modern world with its attending fatigues.”

The child not only improves the mother’s health but gives rise to vital reactions between the husband and wife, unites them to a greater degree, purifies their love, increases their devotedness, makes them more forgetful of their own ease and selfish habits. Such is the case and to such an extent that the child seems greatly to be desired, if not entirely indispensable, as soon as possible in their married life to assure their own perfect adaptation. From. the moral point of view particularly, it is necessary at any price to avoid anything that might trouble the conscience. Moreover, since all love demands the unreserved gift of self, manifestations of tenderness and affection should not be made dependent on a calendar hanging on the wall. It is to be noted too that without children the husband easily falls into the “old bachelor” type, the wife into that of the “old maid,” both of them ending by thinking only in terms of self and not of the other, to the great detriment and possible ruin of their souls.

After the honeymoon comes the gradual return to reality! The “gallant Knight” reverts to the ordinary everyday man; the bride assumes her role of housewife. It is in their child that they discover a new image of their love. The child, the living sign of their love, the new centre of their entire devotedness, is the trysting-ground of their hearts and the surest foe of the rebirth of self-centredness in their souls; it is the child that completes the trinity of conjugal love. Even before it is born, the child is the natural enemy of all that would separate and divide the parents; it is the most powerful bond of union linking the parents whose love is conserved and deepened only as they sacrifice their own desires in the interests of their partner and their children. The child itself will nourish the love of which it is the fruit.

In the child they will continue to live as in a branch detached from them to become a new tree of life, in turn transmitting their common vigor to others. The apartment, the house, becomes a home, a refuge, where the child in its crib enlightens and warms the hearts of the parents. The thought of the child follows the father to work, stimulates him to greater effort, focusses his attention on the two beings who compose his entire life. This new love is a power that binds him to his wife in everything he does. She, for her part, no longer feels that her days are empty; her heart is less exposed to all those petty jealousies that waken so easily in the heart of a woman. A softening influence fills her heart. Completely she lives with her child, the cause of many a worry, it is true, but of great happiness also. Frankly, a baby in its mother’s arms strikes the deepest chord in the heart of the husband, is the best safeguard in the life of the wife.

If, after a time, through no fault of theirs, there is still no sign of a child, they might be wise to consider adopting one. Apart from the fact that God blesses a beautiful act of this kind, the adopted child may give rise in the wife s heart to physical and psychological reactions which, as facts prove, very often permit her to become a mother in actual fact. If a child is adopted, all steps guaranteeing its legality must be taken.

When it becomes known to you that a child is “on the way,” dream for him the most beautiful dreams, prepare for him a large, warm place in your hearts, in all your life. Ask with confidence God’s blessings on your child; ask for the greatest blessing of all: religious vocations for your children. What a stimulant to mutual love is this desire so highly blessed by Him!

IV. SUMMING UP

We have now reached the last lesson of the Course of Preparation for Marriage. We have studied together this great Sacrament under its various aspects and, although we have not treated each question thoroughly, each question has nevertheless been treated in such a manner that we have every right to envisage confidently the day on which you will kneel before the altar to pronounce the “I will” which will unite your life to that of another.

We have read each lesson attentively and have seriously and successfully answered the numerous questions. However, we must admit that we have not grasped everything in its fullest possible meaning, and that frequent re-reading of the Course will be most useful and helpful. The entire Course should be considered as a sort of reference book “par excellence,” to be kept always near at hand for ready consultation, because all the elements of our happiness are to be found in it. We must meditate constantly on certain lessons, particularly Lesson 3, 5, 7, 8, 12, and 14, in order to bring the various principles contained in them into our own life. For example, concerning masculine and feminine psychology, it is one thing to have understood that the psychology of each sex differs; it is another thing to apply this knowledge in the situations that we shall have to meet. It is still another thing to be so imbued with this teaching that the correct attitude to take towards the psychology of one’s spouse will come almost intuitively. Hence we not only advise married couples to re-read the different lessons frequently; we urge you to meditate regularly on these lessons together, a few passages at a time. We recommend that you reflect together on these instructions and try to note the situations to which they apply in married life.

Reading such and such a page will also be like a bracing tonic on certain days, days which will necessarily come, when life will be more difficult and harder to bear, when crosses will perhaps weigh heavily upon your shoulders. Remember in these trying hours that the cross is a necessary part of individual and mutual sanctification, and that it is a source of light and precious grace if you know how to accept it as true Christian husband and wife. But don’t let the thought of the crosses which may come later cause you to frown today. Trust in our Father in Heaven.

“As ye sow, so shall ye reap” is as true in marriage as in any other state in life. In your case, don’t be the least bit afraid. You have shown yourselves to be generous ... to the point of following completely a new and difficult course, which has required hours of reading, reflection, composition, application and work. You have had the courage to continue to the end of the course. All that is to your credit. We congratulate you and we are proud of you. Marriage is the great turning point in the life of a young man and a young woman. Again, we say: Be confident. Difficulties will come up, but you are equipped to meet them.

In this last lesson which is, above all, a conclusion to all that you have studied in the preceding lessons, we shall recall very briefly

A) What the Marriage Preparation Service has given you.

B) Who has given you this course.

C) Problems arising after marriage; solutions.

A) WHAT THE MARRIAGE PREPARATION SERVICE HAS GIVEN YOU

YOUNG MEN:

Some young men claim they know all about marriage. They willingly speak of their pretended knowledge, going so far as to boast (if it be permissible to use such a term for something so sad) of adventures which they actually have never experienced. Where have the majority of these young men acquired their ideas on marriage! In conversations with companions of their own age or a little older, in the reading of more or less dubious books and even in their imagination! You have heard them talk about marriage. For them, marriage is very often synonymous only with sex. They know nothing of true love, nothing of the life of friendship between a young man and a young woman, between a husband and a wife, of the simultaneous ascent of two souls to God, each supporting the other. Sadly but truly, all these things are hidden from their eyes.

Dear student of the Marriage Preparation Course, you are more fortunate. You have learned of the grandeur and beauty of Christian marriage, of the sublimity of true love. Provided thus with precise knowledge which many others do not have, yours is the privilege and the duty of safeguarding and upholding the ideal of Christian marriage, yours the privilege and the duty of securing its triumph over the invasion of paganism that presently confronts us.

Reading the course has brought to you many ideas about marriage, ideas that have been given to you in a very precise manner. You have seen that you had a great deal to learn. This by itself is a big step forward. It now remains for you to perfect this knowledge. To us, it seems that the most important of all the questions which you have studied is that of feminine psychology. Every day you can make new discoveries in this domain. On the other hand, all your efforts in this direction will be good for you and will be rewarded a hundredfold. So, watch Lesson 5!

YOUNG WOMEN:

Rare are the young women who claim they know a great deal about marriage, and, although they may not speak about it much, if often happens that they entertain great prejudices or troublesome fears on the subject. Very often they doubt the fidelity of men (just as young men doubt the purity, the virginity of young women, because they see so many of them stoop to behaviour that is often provocative, wearing indecent clothing, etc.). They have exaggerated fears concerning the first relations, and, finally, they suffer from fear of motherhood. They have been told so much concerning this subject.

We are sure that the Marriage Preparation Course has dispelled any prejudices and apprehensions concerning these points. The lessons have opened your soul to confidence and have given you greater hopes for a lifetime of happiness in the company of a loving partner.

So, penetrate to the very marrow the sublime ideal of Christian marriage. Fill your entire life with it and thus prepare yourselves to keep alight the flame of the home which you. will found. Has the wife not been rightly called “the lamp burning in the home”? You will be worthy of your title if, profoundly convinced of the grandeur of your state in life, you know how to be faithful to it and to live it in all its plenitude.

BOTH:

In considering the marriage into which you are about to enter, you have perhaps suffered from apprehensions concerning a new state in life in which there are numerous duties. Maybe, too, you have suffered from twinges of fear provoked by the example of unhappy marriages which provide little encouragement. The Course has shown you the four great means of being happy: knowledge of marriage, of its laws, of its psychology; true and generous love; sacramental grace; faithful respect for morality.

Remember the answer given to you in the first lesson to this question? “Are happy marriages more numerous than unhappy marriages?” Now you understand why there could be more happy marriages, and why happy marriages will be even happier if the spouses have a better understanding of the beauty and grandeur of Christian marriage, if they have a more complete idea of it, such as you now have. This is precisely the purpose of the Marriage Preparation Course: to give you a loftier and more complete idea of conjugal love and of the conjugal state.

1) A MORE COMPLETE IDEA:

This Course has shown you that marriage is more than a matter of physical union, that this carnal union is only one part of a greater union, the union of two souls and of two lives. You have also learned that if carnal love and the friendship of souls are different things, they do not, however, mutually exclude each other (see Lesson 3) but magnificently help each other.

2) A LOFTIER IDEA:

We have no doubt that the different lessons of the Marriage Preparation Course have also given you a loftier idea of marriage. Contrary to what you may have often heard, you understand perfectly that true conjugal love is found in marriage, not in chance “affairs” nor in unbridled passion that seeks gratification regardless of the price that must be paid in perfidy or disgrace.

The holy state of marriage which you are about to embrace requires that you be an elevating, inspiring influence for each other. Each spouse must, indeed, be a perpetual source of life for his/her spouse here on earth, not only of physical and corporal life but more especially of spiritual and moral life. It is together and one through the other that you should reach sanctity here below, and equally one through the other that you should win the glorious reward of eternal life.

Compare the ideal of marriage which you now possess with that other picture, most often base and carnal, which movies, novels and magazines portray. What a difference between the two! What sublime ideals and destiny in the one; what degradation and stench in the other! What a singular blessing it is for you to possess the truth on this subject, me truth in all its beauty and splendour!

B) WHO HAS GIVEN YOU THIS COURSE

This course, which is so munificent and helpful for your soul, which is a source of light on so many problems of your life, you owe first of all to many different specialists who organized and draughted the lessons. Priests, doctors, nurses, psychologists and teachers have lovingly,given their time and energies to make the Marriage Preparation Service something beautiful, something unique in the world. It is through love and through love for you alone that these older brothers and sisters have worked in order that you, their younger brothers and sisters, might be happy during your whole lifetime. These specialists from different callings, because they are further advanced in life know more than you about life’s complex problems which are so cruel to unprepared souls; in the exercise of their various professions they have gathered the small and great secrets of happy lives. From their collaboration, from their team-work, has come the Marriage Preparation Service.

But who then grouped together these specialists in all fields around an ideal to be realized for your well-being and your happiness? Who? Catholic Action, that great movement of Christian reconstruction organized by the Church and comprised of laymen, working with their whole strength in the service of Christ. It is, then, to Catholic Action that you owe the Marriage Preparation Course, and more parti­cularly to the Young Catholic Workers (Y.C.W.) It is they who organized the oral courses of this Service. In close cooperation with the Y.C.W. movement, the Catholic Centre of the University of Ottawa has organized the Correspondence Courses of the Marriage Preparation Services. It is the sound conviction of the authorities of the University of Ottawa that a university cannot limit itself to giving instruc­tion and social formation only to the more fortunate of young men and women, leaving the others to their fate. ‘On the contrary, these authorities believe that Holy Mother Church gathers groups of eminent teachers in certain institutions for the good of all the people and that these institutions should do everything possible to go to the people and bring the doctrine of salvation to them. It is with this aim in view that the University of Ottawa has created its Catholic Centre and its Social Centre, organizations whose purpose is to cooperate with Catholic Action movements to assure the diffusion of both religious and social truth for all.

In order that it may never be forgotten, may we be permitted to mention here the name of a priest, Reverend Father Albert Sanschagrin, O.M.I., of the Y.C.W. of Montreal, a man of immense vision and great heart. With a team of dependable Y.C.W., he succeeded in establishing the invaluable oral section of Marriage Preparation Services in a sound, enduring manner. You young men and young women who have learned from this course the secrets of a lifetime of happiness, do not forget these hardy and brave pioneers, your benefactors, and we may honestly say, the benefactors of entire nations.

Since you owe to Catholic Action these lessons in preparation for marriage, we ask your sympathy and support for this movement of which you have certainly heard. Perhaps you have heard Catholic Action spoken badly of; perhaps it has been discredited and disparaged. Don’t judge it without knowing it. Perhaps others have told you that it produces no results, that it doesn’t get anywhere. This Marriage Preparation Service gives you a real proof that the contrary is the truth. Consider this fact: The problem of how to prepare for marriage has existed for a very long time. Yet, within the few years of its existence (... scarcely ten years), Catholic Action has done much to solve the problem. The thousands of happy homes which it has prepared and, we may say, built, are a beautiful realization. And that’s not all! Further accomplishments have come and will come in the measure in which our children and our men and women understand that there is more to life than amusements, than living one’s own little life in selfish isolation with no thought of helping others or of spreading and giving happiness by dedicating oneself to the service of neighbour.

As a first mark of your gratitude to Catholic Action, as a sign of your cooperation, Marriage Preparation Services asks you to become apostles of Christian marriage in your own environment. You know more about marriage than anyone else in your neighbourhood. Help, then, to establish oral courses; find pupils for the correspondence course; recruit more students among your friends and acquaintances, potential apostles, in order that the Services may not only continue but may grow, and become perfect by making all our young men and women happy. This is the task which now rests upon you. This task we ask you to carry out faithfully and courageously in thanksgiving for all that the Service has given you.

C) PROBLEMS ARISING AFTER MARRIAGE: SOLUTIONS

Before making known to those about you a great decision which you could not reveal right away, has it sometimes occurred to you to hint around it? These hints seemed so very clear to you, that you thought others must understand, and yet actually they did not grasp it. Then, when they later learned the news, they exclaimed: “Ah! That’s what you meant the other day when you said so and so ...!” Well, something like that will happen to you. These 15 lessons which you have studied have given you the general solutions to the principal problems of conjugal life. However, these solutions are still only hints. As the years go by, understanding will grow and you will say to yourself on a not too distant day: “Ah, that’s what you mean in such and such a sentence in Lesson 3 or Lesson 5 of the Course.” Yes, that’s what that sentence means. The hour of that particular problem will have arrived and that problem will have to be solved.

There are all kinds of problems in married life: mutual support of faults and sickness, reciprocal adaptation of each to the other, moral problems concerning sex relations, the setting up and working out of the budget, cooking and sewing, decorating the home, cleanliness, birth, child care, the children’s education, their formation in piety, etc. You are equipped to solve these problems, but only in a general manner. You need help after marriage also. It seems to us that Marriage-Preparation Services would fail in its duty, would not really fulfil its purpose, if it did not continue its work. Herewith the solutions it suggests to you -

1) THE PRIEST

Holy Mother Church, the Bishops and your priests started Catholic Action and its different services; they did this through love of you, in order to make you happy. Therefore, continue to have recourse to them, first of all to your priests. The priest is your best friend, the friend whom God has placed between Him and you to guide you along the avenues of life. Perhaps you have learned about this or that particular priest through this Course of Preparation for Marriage. You know him better now, and love him better; henceforth, he is closer to you. Always go to him when you are in need. His studies, his experience in life and the graces of his state are at your service. The priest of your parish lives for you, and you can never prove your love to him in a better manner than by making him the confidant of both your trials and joys, and the most wise and certain counsellor of your entire life.

2) ADULT CATHOLIC ACTION

Catholic Action movements will gladly help you solve your problems. They will continue what the youth movements have done for you. For this reason, we strongly advise you to take part in some Catholic Action movement in your diocese. Within these movements you will find food to nourish your Christian and social life as well as precious services of mutual aid and information. And if, by chance, these movements do not as yet exist in your diocese, why not help start them there? Why not be the man or woman of initiative capable of leading others? Do not forget that in this world we are merely instruments in the Master’s service and that it is He who gives the grace: “I can do all things in Him who strengthens me!”

3) FAMILY LIFE

Throughout the course of your life together and in the matter of training your children, many a problem is bound to arise. For some of these, the solution will be apparent and the means of dealing with it will provoke little or no difficulty. For others, however, outside help may be necessary. Occasionally, too, you will need “refresher courses” to recall the ideals towards which you should be constantly aiming and to furnish the directions by which to attain these ideals.

This necessity has long been recognized and steps taken to provide for it. Through the popular Cana Conferences, through special closed retreats for young couples, through study groups dealing with the problems of young married people, through family welfare services and family guidance centres, great strides have been made in helping to solve marital problems. In addition, we are glad to announce that in the near future another correspondence course along these lines is to be made available by the Oblate Catholic Centre. Penshurst, N.S.W. , the sponsor of this Course that you have been following.

We suggest that you keep in touch with us so that we may forward to you any further material in the way of supplements, notes, helpful hints, etc. Notify us of any change in your address so that we may continue to provide you with the results of others’ experience.

V. CONCLUSION

And now, as these pages draw to a close, there are a few special thoughts that we would stress particularly. We have mentioned them already but so important are they that we feel entirely justified in repeating them.

In a short article entitled “A Bride’s Prayer,” the magazine Leaves carries the following paragraph: “A cynical world is waiting to see our marriage fail. It scoffs at the vows we have just taken. May our wedded life, Blessed Mother, be an answer to the scoffers!” In your own lives,, you will find how true these sentences are. You will be derided for your efforts to make your marriage truly Christian; you will be scoffed at because you welcome children into your home whereas the modern world welcomes only its own selfish ease and comfort. You may be deluged with pernicious propaganda promoting Planned Parenthood (nee Birth Control) ... and it will come from people who, although they are enjoying life themselves, nevertheless would deny life to others. Let them not “lead you astray with empty words; for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the children of disobedience. Do not, then, become partakers with them.”

There may, indeed, be times when “the going may be tough,” when it will be difficult to see how you can possibly make ends meet. Be assured that as long as you are striving to do what God asks of you, He will provide for your necessities. How many of your own friends, especially among those of the older generation who are approaching the evening of life, are heard to reminisce: “Yes, there were times when we didn’t know how we were going to manage but somehow we always had enough to get along!”

In the words of one of the psalms lies the cue as to how we should live: “My eyes are ever towards the Lord: for He shall pluck my feet out of the snare.” Let our eyes then be turned ever towards our Models: Christ and His Church. Let our thoughts, words, and actions ever imitate their example. Therein is the only true standard to follow for happiness in time and eternity. It is only when we turn our sight on other things that we succumb to the awful faults of human respect, “Keeping up with the Joneses,” loss of trust in God’s unfailing Providence, etc., with all their fearful consequences.

Pray together; receive the Sacraments together; in every circumstance that enters your lives, choose always that which is the very best from the spiritual point of view. “Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His Justice, and all these things shall be given you besides.” In this matter of praying together, it is well worth noting that our Blessed Mother herself, in her recent apparitions has emphasized that the prayer that SHE most wants us to recite is the Rosary. Through consecration of our self and our family to her Immaculate Heart, through Mass and Communion and the daily recitation of the Rosary, through living our Mass, our consecration, and our Rosary, we do what SHE wants of us. Then, in very truth, can we count most surely on her help in all the trials and the difficulties that may beset us.

A final word: The question as to the correct attitude to take towards internal problems of the home, towards the world outside. Ask Mary to intercede for you with the Holy Ghost, her Spouse forever, the Sanctifier, that He may bestow His guidance upon you so that, under the influence of and the docility to His gifts of Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, Counsel, Piety, Fortitude, and Fear of the Lord, you may in dealing with all these problems be, as St. Paul says, “imitators of God, as very dear children, and walk in love as Christ also loved us and delivered Himself up for us an offering and a sacrifice to God to ascend in fragrant odor. But immorality and every uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you as becomes saints.”

May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of the Lady of the Rosary be ever your refuge and your strength! And may your hearts, welded inseparably to theirs, ring down through the years the same sublime words of St. Paul that have echoed across the centuries “This ... is a Great Sacrament.” God bless you, now and forever!