Since God’s Plan is the elevation of the natural contract of marriage to the status of a Sacrament, the young man and woman contracting marriage should do so in a Christian spirit, having the firm intention of living in the state of grace. This is the only way to fulfil that Plan. To frustrate that Plan by deviating from the real purpose of Matrimony constitutes disobedience to God, and is a sin. Thus, an understanding of God’s Plan and a strong resolution to live according to it should be the foundation upon which the husband and wife erect the entire structure of their married life. With such an understanding, they have a guide for matters dealing with the intimacies of their conjugal life. This guide, if followed, will yield them peace of mind and contribute much to their growth in happiness and holiness.
A vitally important decision confronts every couple entering the marriage state: a) Shall we succumb to the vicious propaganda of modern paganism concerning the sex instinct? or b) Shall ours be a sort of marginal manoeuvering whereby we seek the maximum of self-gratification while allowing ourselves every liberty that barely sidesteps mortal sin? or c) Shall we adopt the joy-giving Christian attitude by which marriage is truly marriage?
Let us consider each of these attitudes a little more fully. a) Shall we succumb to the vicious propaganda of modern paganism concerning the sex instinct? The answer to this should be a very firm and definite “NO.” Why? Because a marriage that is degraded to such a level is one in which not love but lust is the motivating force. It is a selfish, greedy motive that rapidly extends to every phase of living. It is nothing more than what one famous writer bluntly describes as “reciprocal masturbation.” It lowers the marriage of such partners to the status of legalized prostitution. Such a concept of marriage is entirely contrary to the moral law; it is a vicious concept that debases the sanctifying state of Matrimony, debauches the participants, destroys their tranquillity of soul, and breeds unhappiness in their homes.
b) Shall ours be a sort of marginal manoeuvering whereby we seek the maximum of self-gratification while allowing ourselves every liberty that barely sidesteps mortal sin? This is the same attitude as that of the foolhardy person who makes a practice of standing on the railway tracks in front of a fast approaching train and then seeing how close he can let the train come before he jumps out of the way. Concerning similar marginal manoeuvering in the use of the sex instinct, the primary motivating force is one of self-gratification. Here again, it is a selfish motive that through repetition grows into a habitual way of thinking and acting until, sooner or later, the habit of selfishness asserts its ruthless demands DESPITE any mortal sin involved. Growth of the habit has taken a while perhaps, but it has nevertheless led inexorably and inevitably to the destruction of the spirit of self-sacrifice in which true happiness takes its roots.
c) Shall we adopt the joy-giving Christian attitude by which marriage is truly marriage? As we have seen in Lesson 7, marriage belongs entirely to God. It is a state wherein the Divine Plan takes full precedence over all human elements. It is a state designed by God to lead the individual members of the family to holiness of life. It is a union modelled upon the union of Christ with His Church ... and it is in “true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice.” that the spouses can make of their own marriage a close reproduction of the “true love and unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice” that marks the union of Christ with His Church. Concerning this, the infallible Church teaches each bride and groom: “If true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears. The rest is in the hands of God. Nor will God be wanting to your needs...”
Sacrifices are as necessary to happiness in the married state as to success in any other walk of life. Whether he be a successful doctor, lawyer, architect, or engineer, etc., whether she be a successful designer, singer, artist, teacher, etc., nevertheless for each one of these success has carried its own price-tag in sacrifice and effort. On the other hand, in every realm of life we find the weaklings who draw back from success when faced with its cost in personal sacrifice and effort ... and who win as their reward the condescension, pity, and contempt of their fellow men. In marriage, success and happiness in the God-bestowed role of husband and father or of wife and mother is the reward of sacrifice and effort. Here too, however, and tragically so, we sometimes find weakling parents who draw back in the face of the personal sacrifice and effort required ... and who win as their reward the condescension, pity, and contempt of their delinquent children!
The philosophers have a saying: “No one can give what he himself does not possess.” For married couples, we would paraphrase it thus: “No parent can train a child’s character if that parent has not trained his or her own character.” Such training comes through the sacrifices which God asks of the spouses in order that through these sacrifices He may deepen and strengthen their love, mould their characters to be more lovable (“See how these Christians love one another!”), and thus prepare an environment fit and worthy to receive the body of a child formed in their own image, and the soul of the child entrusted to them to be trained in the image of Christ, God of Love.
Thus, with this attitude, they will march steadily forward, day by day, towards the achievement of their sublime ideal, their evergrowing fulness of life brushing aside any petty bickering and selfishness that would despoil, frustrate and narrow their mutual love. “Henceforth you belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously. Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy; and perfect love can make it a joy.” This is the joy-giving attitude towards marriage. It is the only attitude by which true happiness is to be found in married life. May it be the attitude of all those who enter God’s sanctifying state of Matrimony!
It is, of course, utterly wrong to believe that once a couple is married, everything is thereby permissible. Such an idea is entirely erroneous. The moral law obliges every man and woman, no matter what their state of life, to avoid any thing that might lead them astray from the real purpose of life: the possession of God. It is just as much possible for married people to commit sin as it is possible for those in any other state of life. Married men and women still labour under the effects of original sin with the consequent inclination towards evil, and so they must impose certain reasonable restrictions on their bodies. To give free rein to all the inordinate demands of passion would be to sin against virtue. Nor is it any excuse to declare: “Ah ... But we’re married! We can do as we please!” Those who distort the voice of conscience in order to justify the gratification of their passions in a manner that is forbidden because it is contrary to the purpose of Matrimony, are that much more guilty in that they falsify their own honest judgment and expose themselves to the danger of growing hardened in sin. They become their own fifth columnists in the. matter of their own marital happiness.
On the other hand, careful observance of the Christian moral laws protects the dignity of the husband and wife. It supernaturalizes the love of the spouses. Contrariwise, sins of the flesh rear up a barrier that divides the souls of husband and wife, a barrier that engenders mutual dislike (leading frequently to hate), and that induces the formation of many another defect of character that is transmitted as a wretched heritage to their descendants.
In the physical life as well, careful observance of the Christian moral laws produces two notable results: The normal exercise of the marriage act helps to promote the good health of both husband and wife, and at the same time enriches the body with the soundness of balance which it establishes.
As we have seen in Lesson 7, “marriage is in itself a way to become perfect, to develop one’s spiritual life to the point where it is the perfect likeness of what God wants of us.” It is, therefore, almost trite to say that it is possible for married people to live in the state of grace, that it is possible to observe God’s laws in a perfect manner in the married state.
God provides marvellous graces to accompany the married state but He grants them in copious manner to those only who ask for them and who deserve them by an intensely Christian life. For you whose lives are impregnated with the spirit of Christ, it is hard to do wrong; but for the wicked, it is hard to do good. Thus, two Christians who love God with their whole hearts, who love Him together, are well-nigh incapable of doing anything but observe His laws for the state of Matrimony. They have already acquired the strength that enables them to gain the victory where weaker souls fail again and again.
It should be carefully noted that habitual reserve and modesty during the years of adolescence and the days of courtship are the natural stepping-stones towards marital virtue. Control of one’s passions after marriage presupposes the mastery of self during the years preceding marriage. This is a point that should be stressed among the young as an encouraging factor in the hard struggle to maintain purity during the years of youth and adolescence. A soul trained to combat by the practice of virtue before marriage will find little difficulty later in observing the laws of God in the Matrimonial state.
Furthermore, those who will have already developed the habitual outlook on mortal sin as being the greatest of all evils (greater by far than any sickness, fatigue, loss of sleep, trials encountered in living a life of virtue, or in not having the extensive material possessions that others may enjoy), will enter Matrimony in possession of a very precious gift that will regulate and direct all their actions. Far from following the example of so many who carelessly, daily, indulge in mortal sin as though they were sipping a glass of water, the virtue-loving spouses will have generated instead the supernatural instinct that will cause them to fear the very possibility of mortal sin. Even things permitted to them as good Christians they will place on such a high plane that they will render themselves immune to the slightest faults.
We shall now explain: 1) What is permitted in marriage; 2) What is forbidden in marriage; 3) What we should think of “birth control” or “planned parenthood.”
A thing is permissible, (though not necessarily recommended) and consequently good insofar as it does not deviate from its aim or purpose. Fire, for example, is the friend of man when it is restricted within the limits it is intended to serve; exceeding these limits, it may cause untold, irreparable damage.
We would draw your attention to the fact that, as St. Paul states it: “... things are lawful for me but not all things are expedient.” Thus, although we admit some things as permissible, that does not mean that we recommend them. As an example, it is permissible for the spouses to have relations during the menstruation period; relations at that time is certainly not recommended. Other similar examples could be given.
According to God’s Plan, marriage has two purposes, two aims: 1) the primary aim or purpose is the procreation and education of children (physical, intellectual, and moral education). 2) The secondary aim or purpose consists in a) natural and supernatural mutual help (See Lesson 3); and b) the legitimate appeasement of the passions. These two aims, primary and secondary, are legitimate, and authorize the husband and wife to perform certain acts. These acts will be good in the measure that they conform to these two aims of marriage; they will be meritorious for the next life, if performed by Christians in the state of grace, and in a Christian way. Let us state as a general principle and as a basis for all our explanations: “Concerning the intimacy between the husband and wife, ‘all that is in conformity with these two aims (purposes), primary and secondary, is good and is permissible; any thing opposed to them is evil and is consequently forbidden.’ ”
To re-state this same truth but in other words, we might say that “all sexual pleasure which does not strive to prevent the conception of children is legitimate and permissible; all sexual pleasures which in one way or another attempt to forestall or prevent conception, are thereby illegitimate and forbidden.”
The purpose of the marriage act is to produce conception. It is permitted to married people only, and then, on condition that they do nothing to prevent conception and ultimate birth. As we have already explained, this act consists in the introduction of the penis into the vagina in order to deposit there the male fertilizing seed which may then contact the female egg. It is an act accompanied in both the male and the female by a sensory pleasure.
Let’s take another case to explain this point. God wills that the act of eating shall be accompanied by a pleasure of the sense of taste. However, the purpose of eating is to provide nourishment for the entire body; the pleasure of eating is merely an incentive to take the proper means to nourish the body. Thus, it would be contrary to the purpose of eating if we were to chew our food solely for the sake of the pleasure involved but then to refuse chewing’s logical consequence: swallowing, and nourishment of the body.
In similar manner, the sensory pleasure that accompanies the performance of the marriage-act is in perfect conformity with God’s Plan; He wills this experience to accompany the marriage-act in order that the spouses shall desire this intimacy of relations and, as a result, shall procreate children. In addition, it is part of His reward to them for the sacrifices they undertake in the sublime task of raising children for Him.
It is obvious therefore that any time the marriage-act is performed, it should be performed according to God’s law and purpose! His purpose is the procreation of children. The pleasure accompanying the marriage-act is only a reward for performing the act with the intention of having children if God Himself wills to grant this result.
Thus, the fulfilment of the marriage-act is an act of obedience and is meritorious if those performing it are in the state of grace and have the intention of doing God’s will. It is an act (See Lesson 3) endowed with a natural grandeur, full of meaning and beauty; it expresses the gift of the souls by the union of the bodies; it reaffirms the marital consent pronounced at the foot of the altar and in the presence of the priest; it unites even more profoundly two beings animated by the same ideal: to give life to a third being, the fruit of their love.
But the most beautiful aspect of the marriage-act resides in its supernatural grandeur, in its symbolism of the love of Christ for His Church (for our souls). Than this sublime realization there is nothing more elevating and inspiring! Their own fruitfulness recalls to the couple the fruitfulness of Holy Mother Church, a fruitfulness which it owes to its intimate union with Christ whence flows the grace of Calvary through the Sacraments to the bosom of the Church, His Divine Spouse.
And how can these thoughts but give rise to unbounded gratitude to God who has called men to fulfil such a majestic function! Well, indeed, could St. Paul describe marriage as a “great Sacrament!” And the husband and wife who understand how to accomplish God’s Plan, supernaturalize their love each day anew, purifying it little by little of selfish pleasure and giving it the sweetness and abandon of the purest and most solid love. What wonderful results God’s grace accomplishes when it finds soil suitably prepared for its action! How vast the gulf that separates these happy homes from those where selfish sterility is preferred to the laugh of a child, where an automobile is valued more highly than a baby’s smile, where selfish sensuality is more desired than sublimity of soul!
a) Fundamental Principle: God not only intends that the reproductive act be accomplished with the legitimate pleasure which is its reward, but He further intends that this same act be performed according to well determined and wise moral laws. Men and women are free to marry or not marry; but once they do enter this state of life, the spouses are bound by stern duty to submit to the laws of marriage. Now, the fundamental law of marriage is that of marital duty. By virtue of this duty, or . obligation, which has its roots in the sacrament-contract, each spouse acquires rights over the body of the other; hence the spouses must grant to each other the use of their body within the limits required by divine law.
Each spouse, having the right by marriage to accomplish the generative act, it follows therefore that the partner has a corresponding duty to accept the marital relations; (This is the logical result and consequence of the “yes” pronounced at the foot of the altar.) By its very nature, this is a serious duty; to refuse without very good reasons may constitute a mortal sin against justice, since it is a violation of the rights of the other partner. It is an injustice, as each of the spouses has renounced the ownership of his or her own body in favour of the other. It is a grave sin against charity as well (love of neighbour: the other spouse) because, frustrating the other party, it exposes him (or her) to the danger of sinning either alone or with others than his (her) partner. Consequently, each time that either of the two spouses manifests a desire for intercourse, there is a grave obligation on the part of the other to consent to it. Only very serious reasons may justify a refusal and at the same time exempt one from serious moral guilt.
b) Particular Principles: To clarify this question we shall lay down certain principles and establish the circumstances which govern the fulfilment of marital duty.
(1) When may either spouse seek or agree to marital relations? Either spouse may seek marital relations at any time, even during pregnancy, menstruation, lactation (nursing), a common sickness, and even during religious feasts. (It should be noted, however, that during the months of pregnancy, particularly the last months, less frequent intercourse is the wiser course to follow, and necessary precautions should be taken to avoid injuring the coming child, by adopting (if required) a less dangerous position and always with the understanding that the intercourse be complete, and the seed deposited in the vagina.) As to the menstrual period: although it is not immoral to have intercourse during the menstruation period, special consideration should be accorded the wife since at such times she will likely feel indisposed and have no desire for sexual relations. Finally, there is no need to refrain from receiving Holy Communion after sexual relations: In performing the marriage act, the spouses do nothing opposed to the respect due to the Eucharistic Sacrament. As a matter of fact, (as we have seen above) performance of the marriage act is an act of obedience to God and of cooperation with Him.
(2) When may intercourse be denied? According to moral teaching, either spouse is justified in refusing intercourse under the following circumstances: a) when the one requesting intercourse has committed adultery; b) when he (she) does not have full possession of his (her) senses, (as, for example, while under the influence of alcohol); c) when abused (as, for example, three or four times a night), it may be restricted in its frequency; d) when there is real danger of its causing miscarriage; e) when there is grave danger of injuring the other partner (example, when either partner is infected with venereal disease); f) moreover, moral law affirms that the wife may refuse intercourse during a period of six weeks following a birth.
(3) When should intercourse be refused? When a danger exists of causing scandal, as may be the case at certain times in crowded homes, etc. In that case, the time should be chosen when this danger is absolutely absent.
At times, it is very useful to demand intimacy in order to bring about a reconciliation between husband and wife: “Do not let the sun go down upon your anger.” A good moralist will suggest this method as excellent as a peace maker and to prevent the misunderstanding and grudges which at times endure interminably between spouses and are a source of grave danger to their souls. Concerning this matter, a recent inquiry attributes (and not without reason) a major part of the blame for the persistent discord in certain homes to the use of twin beds. Experience over the centuries confirms this statement.
Finally, the spouses may decide, by mutual agreement, to abstain occasionally from any intimacy during certain days and/or even certain weeks. Their confessor should be consulted before such a decision is made, since even though the motives be of the noblest, serious indiscretions may result which require a change in their decision in order to prevent incontinence on the part of either husband or wife or both. It must never be forgotten that Christian marriage is a state for the sanctification of both.
All actions necessary or useful to marital relations are permissible and are morally good. These acts, whatever they may be, whether interior (such as thoughts, desires) or exterior, (such as looks, touching (even the organs), kisses, caresses) are permitted, as long as no voluntary orgasm (pollution in the male, complete satisfaction in the female) takes place outside the marriage act.
The word voluntary must be emphasized: In fact, if orgasm occurs involuntarily, (that is unexpectedly and unforeseen and unwished, as may occur in the case of newlyweds) there is absolutely no sin. To repeat, when an orgasm occurs involuntarily outside the marriage act, there is absolutely no sin prcvided that no interior consent has been given to this orgasm.
Two other cases are to be considered: (1) The case of orgasm coming to the woman before the discharge of the male seed. If the marriage act takes place immediately, there is no guilt involved. (2) Sometimes the wife may not have obtained complete satisfaction during the course of the marriage act. She is then allowed to obtain this satisfaction by touching herself on condition that this shall be done immediately after intercourse. The husband may help to induce this excitement by touching his wife. It is a duty of love for the man to see to it that his wife experiences satisfaction in their marital intimacy, and that as far as possible it reach its climax at the time the male seed is discharged. Unhappily, too often the husband selfishly seeks his own satisfaction without considering that of his wife. As a result, because of ignorance, she frequently remains frustrated and unsatisfied even to the point where her health, may be impaired, the more so if the nerves, tensed and stimulated by the intimacy, find no outlet and consequently remain high strung, in a state of unreleased tension.
a) Acts (such as caresses, looks, kisses, touching) performed with no intention of leading to intercourse, are permitted as a means of maintaining mutual love. It is vitally important, however, that they procure no immediate danger of orgasm on the part of either partner. Some mutual acts which entail danger of orgasm, would be permissible for grave reasons and on the condition that there is no possibility of consent to the orgasm which, although undesired, nevertheless might take place.
b) As for incomplete solitary acts by the man or the woman, in thoughts, desires, or touches (whether an enjoyment of the imagination, a remembrance of a past intimacy with one’s partner, or of a desired intimacy with the partner) all these are not sinful on condition that there exists no danger of consent to the orgasm which might result. If, however, the person involved in these thoughts, or desires is any other than one’s own husband or wife, then these thoughts or desires become a mortal sin. The same rule applies here as in the case of an unmarried person who wilfully entertains impure thoughts or desires.
c) Interruption of intercourse, with the consent of both partners, before the discharge of the seed is not a sin, on condition, of course, that it is not followed by pollution or complete satisfaction with the seed being discharged outside the vagina. If there are any indications that an orgasm may occur in either partner, then the seed must be deposited in the vagina.
d) Depositing the seed at the entrance of the vagina is allowed only if deeper penetration is impossible or if it is impossible to accomplish the act more perfectly, but the possibility of impregnation must exist if this manner of accomplishing the relation is to be considered legitimate.
The spouses should maintain mastery over their passions so as to be able to abstain from intercourse at times when some serious reason may make abstinence imperative. Moreover, in certain cases, too frequent or too closely spaced intimacy may impair the health of the woman due to the nervous tension induced by the very nature of the act and to chronic sicknesses that may easily result from such too frequent arousals of nervous tension.
The gravity of this sin is measured by the circumstances and the reasons for the refusal. As has been stated previously, the spouse, who without sufficient and serious reason refuses intercourse, is guilty of mortal sin; such refusal robs the partner of his (her) just right to the use of the other spouse’s body. It is therefore forbidden to refuse relations without serious reasons for doing so. If the request is definite, and the refusal definite, then each such refusal constitutes a very serious sin. If, however, the partner does not insist on his (her) right and consents to wait, no grave fault is committed.
Married couples should accept this duty in a spirit of obedience and Christian mortification. It may, in fact, and for the woman especially, demand a sacrifice. On the other hand, false piety should not be permitted to persuade either of them to refuse intercourse under the pretext of penance because, although a person is free to impose sacrifices upon himself or herself, that person is never permitted to force others to do likewise. Such conduct may entail grave danger of exposing the other spouse to infidelity.
This practice, also called onanism, is intended to prevent the fulfilment of the purpose of the marriage-act: conception. (The name, Onanism, is derived from the Bible account of Onan who practised birth control... “and therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.”) Birth control is practised in several ways: either by the use of instruments by the man or by the woman, or by destroying the vital productive element by means of sterilizers or other means, or finally, by interrupting the act itself and allowing the seed to be discharged outside the vagina.
These practices are highly immoral and hence, positively forbidden. They are directly opposed to God’s will regarding the use of the marriage-act. Moreover, they breed and develop selfishness in the husband and wife and destroy their conjugal happiness. They are harmful to the health of the spouses and result in a physiological unbalance and particularly a psychological disturbance on the part of the wife; in her case such practices may lead to serious functional trouble. These practices very easily become habits. It is urgent, therefore, that you conceive a real horror for this sin which God detests and which wreaks profound damage on both the individual and society ... on the latter through unfaithfulness, licentiousness, and national suicide through a drop in the birth-rate.
In their Encyclicals, the Sovereign Pontiffs have defended the inalienable rights, of Christian marriage against the inroads of modern paganism. Even history itself stigmatizes the decadence of countries where onanistic practices were given what almost amounts to a status of legality. To correct this social evil and to protect the happiness of your own home and of your own heart, you should refuse to have anything to do with . any contraceptive practices regardless of the pretext under which they are presented. You should remind yourself and others of God’s laws by affirming that the laws of marriage are not dependent on man; add to this the fact that continence is always possible with God’s help and, when practised in cooperation with His grace, is a major factor in the formation of stronger, more lovable characters. Finally, the hygienic point of view will assist you if you recognize the honest fact that it is advantageous for the husband and wife to have normal sexual relations. Onanism is abnormal.
Ban, therefore, from your life “contraceptive methods” or sterilizers of human life and instruments used for the purpose of forestalling or destroying the life of “might-have-beens.” Once prevented or destroyed, that life can never be recalled. There is tragedy in the case of the “might-have-been.” We raise our hands in stark horror when a defenceless adult is killed in cold blood. And yet, the “might-have-been,” deliberately shut off forever from both temporal and eternal life because of selfish adults, is relegated casually by our modern (?) world to the dark abysses of the common-place! Oh God, have mercy on the souls of the “parents” of the “might-have-beens”!
Sometimes, however, it happens that one of the spouses desires to have children and is opposed to birth control but is nevertheless frustrated in this desire by the birth control tactics practised by the other partner. For the innocent spouse deep qualms of conscience may result. What should be done in such a case? The problem should be submitted by the innocent partner to his (or her) own confessor. Such consultation with one’s confessor is the best means to obtain the soundest direction in such a situation. For the following specific cases we present the course of action to be adopted.
a) Case where contraceptives are used by the husband: In such cases, the wife may not seek intercourse. Neither may she allow intercourse unless very very serious consequences may result from refusal, and then only on condition that she refuses mentally to consent to complete personal
b) Case where contraceptives are used by the wife: The husband may never have nor seek intercourse.
c) Case where the wife knows the husband will interrupt coitus to discharge the seed outside the vagina:
i) Consent to intercourse by the wife: (1) The wife should first inform her husband that she is opposed to this method of proceeding; then, (2) if she honestly fears grave consequences will result from her refusal, she may accept the relations and the resultant pleasures, even if complete, during the time the correct procedure is being followed. But she may not later procure orgasm or cause it to be procured in the event that she has failed to obtain it while the correct procedure was being followed.
ii) Seeking for intercourse by the wife: (1) The wife who foresees that her husband will probably not perform intercourse as it should be conducted, does not sin by seeking relations. (2) As to satisfaction: She may accept all satisfaction, even complete, during the time the act is being done as it should. But she may not later produce the pleasures (nor cause them to be produced) in case she has not already obtained them during the time the act is being performed according to the law of God.
Faithfulness or fidelity is one of the benefits, one of the riches of Matrimony. Each spouse should protect it against all onslaughts, and make use of the greatest prudence in dealing with other people: familiarities, apparently innocent, often lead to lamentable falls, and blameworthy intimacies that wreck homes. The sin of adultery is grave and, once committed, easily becomes a tyrannical habit.
Women should avoid frivolity in their conversations and in their posture; they should beware of stimulating passion by following thoughtlessly the mannerisms of a world that treats lightly the most serious subjects. One does not commit adultery without having paved the way towards it; it is by many indiscretions leading towards it that one finally commits adultery and thereby becomes, by disobedience to God, unjust to one’s spouse and a perjurer of the Sacrament of Matrimony. In many cases, the adultery of the wife is attributable, at least in part, to the selfishness of the husband who has never understood his wife and who has treated her harshly, or has left her to her loneliness while he himself is out too frequently and without explanation ...
“Abortion is the forced expulsion of a living fetus, by artificial means, before it is viable” (P. Larochelle). (Viable: before it is sufficiently developed to be able to survive). From the moral point of view, abortion is a true murder. This crime is all the more culpable as it attacks a defenceless innocent. In extreme cases, certain operations are attempted to save a human life; but the spouses may never consent to the voluntary inducement of an abortion. A Catholic physician of sound reputation or a priest should be their guide under such circumstances, and indicate whether such or such an operation is legitimate in a specific case. Wives must ignore childish fear and remember that God is Providence here as elsewhere, and that He is the Great Physician. Prayer will obtain for them the confidence and necessary grace in the more difficult cases. Those who induce, provoke, or counsel an abortion if it proves successful are excommunicated from the Catholic Church.
An unripened fruit may not be torn from the branch bearing it without leaving a deep scar. In similar manner, the health of a woman is seriously endangered by an abortion. Furthermore, numerous infections, hemorrhages (frequently fatal), sudden death or insanity, are quite often the penalties paid by the woman who attempts to oppose the laws of God and of nature: God is offended and Nature takes her own revenge in cruel fashion.
By “birth control” is understood the use of some artificial means or methods by which the husband and wife may determine the number of children they will have. Birth Control is a term that has been widely used in the United States and England particularly. Today, “birth control,” is replaced by a more devilish expression: “Planned Parenthood,” in other words: the planning of the family or, more clearly a planned number of children. We know how the great convert G. K. Chesterton defined the words “Birth Control”: “No birth and no control,” that is to say, “no birth and no control of the passions.” In effect, without daring to admit it, that is what is commonly meant by the advocates of “Birth Control.” “Planned Parenthood” is what its title implies: a “hood” under which there hide those who plan how to avoid becoming parents! It is a case again of “no birth and no control.”
The regulation of births may never be practised with disregard of the divine laws: it is then a mortal sin. God is the author of life and it is not the privilege of parents to gratify their passions, while at the same time avoiding the duty of rearing children. This selfishness is a sin. For very serious reasons, however, it would be permitted to space or delay the coming of a child by the practice of continence, on condition that this practice of continence is not an occasion of sin for either or both of the spouses.
Complete or total continence consists in complete abstinence from sexual intercourse. On the other hand, we now know that a woman is not equally fertile at all times but that this fertility is absent during certain days of each month. On these days of sterility (also called agenesia periods) conception cannot take place following intercourse. The discovery of this phenomenon soon gave rise to the practice of what is called periodic continence. This practice consists in taking advantage of the sterile periods to have intercourse and in abstaining during the fertile periods in order to be able (despite sufficient frequency of intercourse and the absence of the use of artificial means or methods) to control, space or prevent the birth of children. The method of periodic abstinence is also called the Ogino-Knaus method (Rhythm System) from the name of the two great scientists who discovered and calculated the sterile periods of women. So much has been said regarding this method, so much has been published in the line of calendars on the sterile and fertile periods, so many books and pamphlets (a large number of which are dishonest) that we feel it a duty to bring the matter to light and clarify it. We shall explain therefore, what should be the Christian attitude to the Rhythm (Ogino Knaus) (periodic abstinence) System and its use by married people.
that is, as a simple law of the living organism: It is today proven that all women are absolutely incapable of conceiving during certain periods of each month. It is a simple, harmless, natural phenomenon it is one of the many laws of life. It is another matter however for each woman to calculate these periods accurately. The result is that the system of periodic abstinence is not absolutely sure in every case. There is a host of circumstances which escape observation and which modify the calculation of the sterile periods. The modem pace at which we live bears countless occasions of nervous stimulation, of nervous intoxication, etc., which, in the case of women, result in unforeseen menstrual variations that balk scientific calculations. Finally, shocks, emotional strain or a high-strung nervous temperament, are obstacles to the positive determination of the sterile periods.
The biological phenomenon of sterile periods is absolutely normal in itself. The same may not be said of its “clever” employment by married couples who use it with the intention of avoiding or controlling the birth of children. A simple comparison illustrates this fact: A revolver in itself is merely a mechanical and indifferent article. It does not follow that everybody can indiscriminately and at any time use a revolver. The state has established precise laws concerning carrying and using this fire-arm.
In like manner, woman’s sterile periods are in themselves a matter of utter indifference: It does not follow that everybody without exception may have recourse to the rhythm system for the sole purpose of enjoying sexual relations, without having to submit to the consequences of a new life added to the home. As the state intervenes to regulate the use of fire-arms, in like manner God Himself, by the moral law, intervenes to regulate the use of this method and determine if, and in what cases, it is permitted or forbidden to use it.
(A) THE RHYTHM SYSTEM AS A MEANS OF LIMITING THE NUMBER OF BIRTHS. (OR OF PREVENTING THEM ENTIRELY) IS FORBIDDEN IN THE FOLLOWING CIRCUMSTANCES:
(1) When it is motivated by selfishness, that is, in order to obtain satisfaction without the embarrassment of having a child or too many (?) children in the home. Incidentally, when has a farmer been heard to complain of the too great abundance of fruit that Divine Providence has given him? Well, husband and wife are in Matrimony merely the instruments of God, the Great Agriculturist, Who sowed in them the seed of fertility for His glory and His heaven and not simply for their enjoyment. Let us further remind ourselves that the laws of Matrimony are Heaven-made, not man-made, and that their use should be regulated by God and not by men.
(2) When it is motivated by love of money: so as to be able, for example, to have more of the comforts and luxuries of life. It is to this accursed motive that an American propagandist of Birth Control had recourse when she used the following blasphemous appeal: “Why not an automobile instead of a child?” What an insult to God, to the family, to the nation!
(3) When it is motivated by human respect: How many homes, particularly in the professional and well-to-do classes, ovoid more than one or two children because the parents fear the finger of scorn pointed at them by friends with limited families ... Such parents, paralyzed by human respect, should recall that the words of Our Saviour “He that shall deny me before men, I will also deny him before my Father” apply to their case.
(4) When a couple have no children and no serious reason prevents them from having any: Young married couples who delay conception indefinitely under unjustifiable pretexts are culpable. And how regrettable that so large a number of young men and women promise themselves, even before marriage, to delay (or limit) having children and study what procedure should be taken by consulting on the subject works that are not commendable from the moral point of view. We also see, and it is a lamentable spectacle, mothers advising their daughters to limit at any price the size of their future family and teaching them the secret: “Don’t follow my example by having a large family!” What a terrible responsibility assumed for souls by these truly unnatural mothers! And why shouldn’t such daughters demand of such mothers: “Are you that sorry for having borne ME! And which of us now would you care to be rid of!”
(5) When one of the spouses objects: as for example, if during the fertile period the husband or wife seeks sexual satisfaction, the other partner is bound, under penalty of grave sin, to submit regardless of the calendar or the consequences. God must be served first.
(6) When the use of the Rhythm System is an occasion of sin: The great evil of this system is that it is frequently the beginning of a life of sin for the spouses and therefore of unhappiness for their home. Consider the following type cases: (1). A husband and wife have started to use the Rhythm System precisely for the purpose of limiting the size of their family. But one day the system goes astray through erroneous calculations and, to the great despair(!) of the spouses, the wife becomes pregnant. How many spouses have for that reason set aside the system of periodic abstinence in favour of more certain (!) methods such as medical sterilizers, contraceptive instruments, which are essentially perverse and always forbidden! The Rhythm System for them will thus have been the starting point of a life of sin with the consequent unhappiness that it has introduced into the home.
(2) The desires of the flesh are no respecter of the calendar. It happens therefore, that on certain days when the Rhythm System prohibits intercourse, the husband or wife (or both) is greatly tempted. What if they lack the heroic courage necessary at such times, or if they yield alone, or together without accomplishing the true marriage act, or take advantage of forbidden methods to obtain complete but sterile satisfactions? Daily experience proves it: Fear of having a baby or another baby, once implanted in the heart of the spouses, is very difficult to eradicate. After trying the periodic abstinence system they go on (because of the inconveniences (!) and the sacrifices or mortifications that true periodic abstinence entails) to the employment of radical and forbidden methods to limit or prevent pregnancy.
(B) THE RHYTHM SYSTEM IS ALLOWED WHEN THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY:
(1) A grave moral reason: An example of this would be when a conscientious Christian doctor declares that a new pregnancy would jeopardize the mother’s life or seriously impair her health. Taking into account before God the moral problems that his decision may give rise to, and faced with making such a disturbing statement, that doctor is to be commended who in such a case prefers through delicacy and consideration to warn the husband in preference to the mother. Nor should such a warning, coming from a conscientious Christian doctor, be construed in any other light than as manly advice to a manly husband in order to encourage him to moderate the ardor of his passions and to practise continence through love for his wife.
(2) Only for the length of time that this grave moral reason continues to exist. This condition should be checked periodically because it is easier to start practising the Rhythm System than to interrupt it after its use has been adopted.
(3) On condition that fidelity to the Rhythm System may not be (particularly during the periods when intercourse is not attempted) a cause or occasion of solitary sin, or of mutual sin, or of infidelity. This means simply that during the periods of abstinence, true abstinence must be practised ... that is, all special marks of affection that might lead directly to sin must be avoided.
(4) After consultation by each of the spouses with a spiritual advisor, a priest, preferably one who knows them and their problems. Although we state this condition last, it is by no means least. Such consultation is vitally necessary, not that the confessor can grant permission to use the Rhythm System (because principles of eternal life are involved here and no earthly authority can alter such principles). But, because we are always poor judges where our own affairs are concerned, it is extremely difficult for a married couple to judge, calmly and impartially, a situation in which their deepest and most cherished interests are involved. The Church, the custodian of God’s Law, is a good and wise Mother; through Her priests She is capable of discerning her children’s motives and of passing just judgment upon them. Thus, the spouses can in all security take advantage of these counsels and, their conscience being clear, they will avoid sin and habits contrary to the sanctity of Christian marriage. The husband and wife who have thus obtained guidance from their spiritual director concerning the use of the Rhythm System will make it a point to keep this advice to themselves since what may be allowed in their case may be forbidden in another case that is seemingly similar but actually different. Happy the husband and wife who, confiding in their confessor as their best friend, open their hearts and divulge to him with absolute frankness their most intimate problems! Peace of soul, serenity and faith will be their reward here and hereafter.
Let us sum up what we have explained. The use of the periodic abstinence system, called the Rhythm System, is not allowed for all married couples under any circumstances; it is permitted only under grave moral circumstances and because of grave moral reasons. Apart from these cases, its practice is always culpable; the degree of seriousness may vary according to the specific case in question.
(C) IN WHAT SPIRIT MAY CHRISTIANS MAKE USE OF THE RHYTHM SYSTEM IN THEIR MARITAL LIFE?
(1) To spouses who understand the Christian sense of their marriage, the desire for children is very normal. The child is the logical fruit of their love and the surest guarantee of that love. This is why the first reaction of Christian hearts, reduced to the use (according to the conditions already explained) of the Rhythm System should be one of regret. Deep within their hearts should be a pang of sorrow at their being unable to bestow the boon of life on a new soul. This regret is a sign of the sincere and good faith of the husband and wife. When parents practise this system in such a spirit, it can be for them a meritorious and even sacrificial act. Unhappily, this attitude o f regret is rarely found among those who practise this method of continence; in its place are found instead motives that are worthy of severe censure and rebuke, motives for which the guilty partners will have to answer to God. (2) The second sign of a Christian heart in regretfully using the Ogino-Knaus Method will be that of charity. Christian periodic abstinence can never arise from mutual selfishness, from an avaricious heart which is fearful of being inconvenienced by the giving of itself and the giving of life. It can be due, however, to a real love for the wife.
We remark in passing that we find Christian spouses aware of the Ogino-Knaus (Rhythm) System and, desirous of having healthy and robust children, deliberately taking advantage of the fertile periods to have intercourse and consequently prepare themselves for those fertile periods by physical and moral rest so as to be in the best possible dispositions for the procreation of life. If to the contrary the Ogino-Knaus system is used to avoid one’s duty it is no longer love but a reversion to selfishness and cowardliness.
The third Christian sign will be that of chastity and temperance in view of the spiritualization of love. The practice of periodic abstinence for selfish reasons sensualizes love; on the other hand, its use in the spirit of self-mastery and Christian mortification may become a factor of human and supernatural elevation. It is certain, however, that voluntary sterility, even though it may be morally justifiable, nevertheless may bear serious consequences for the wife. According to nature’s law, the marriage act is ordained to produce a fruit; if it always takes place at a time when nature is unfertile, it is to be feared that regrettable physical results will ensue, in discomfort, and an upset nervous condition in the woman, etc.
The best proof of a clear conscience in all this matter of periodic continence is the sincere regret experienced by the parents at the thought of the little ones who might have been born but who will never taste the joys of life, here or in heaven, and who will never take a place in the heavenly choir to sing eternally with their parents the glory of God.
Nothing purifies the mutual love of husband and wife as does the birth of children. It is very hard for a married couple to live a chaste life if they refuse to have children; on the other hand virtue is an easy matter for those who welcome the birth of children. The fires of passion of the early days change gradually until they become a steady, clear light, less tumultuous, but”more soul satisfying, more harmonious and more intimately blended. The practice of virtue, little by little, with the aid of prayer, elevates love to the summit of supernatural affection, sanctifies the marriage and thus accomplishes God’s plan for these two lives that He attracted to each other in order to effect their salvation by accomplishing His work.
The state of grace should be the normal state of husband and wife. Let them serve God in a straightforward manner, under the guidance of the priest, their best friend, and the representative of God. They will be sowers of life, and this work is too great not to be rewarded by immense riches of grace bestowed upon those who faithfully and lovingly fulfil it. Happy are those who understand their mission as givers-of-life; happier still are those who accomplish this mission as co-workers with God, in His sight and under His care. Such parents may be little recognized here on earth, but their reward will be great in heaven.