00:00:05:06 - 00:00:07:19 Why are you looking at me 00:00:07:19 - 00:00:08:25 Cause you’re partner? 00:00:08:25 - 00:00:13:04 And you talking so I thought usually you look at the person that's talking. 00:00:13:07 - 00:00:16:07 No. How dare you perceive me? 00:00:16:14 - 00:00:17:16 What's going on, guys? 00:00:17:16 - 00:00:22:28 It is Damien of the Broken Burrow System for episode one of the podcast 00:00:23:00 - 00:00:25:24 we think 00:00:25:24 - 00:00:28:02 It’s Hikari Hawking of the Hawking system 00:00:28:02 - 00:00:31:12 and I'll be talking for this body. 00:00:31:14 - 00:00:35:29 the theme of the podcast is going to be more so like mental health 00:00:35:29 - 00:00:39:21 and our struggles with like living day to day 00:00:39:21 - 00:00:45:18 with the stuff that we've got going on, as well as outside stressors 00:00:45:20 - 00:00:49:18 such as environment and politics and that sort of thing. 00:00:49:20 - 00:00:53:06 So I kind of want to start off the podcast 00:00:53:06 - 00:00:59:24 talking about mental health and what ever the cats are getting into, 00:00:59:26 - 00:01:00:12 right. 00:01:00:12 - 00:01:05:11 Which which brings up overstimulation and under stimulation as an autistic person. 00:01:05:15 - 00:01:07:00 Great Segway. 00:01:07:00 - 00:01:09:00 What great Segway. 00:01:09:00 - 00:01:09:17 Right. 00:01:09:17 - 00:01:12:25 Just right over into like overstimulating. 00:01:12:28 - 00:01:18:01 So literally in order to set up this podcast 00:01:18:03 - 00:01:22:05 just to show it started off that way, literally to start a podcast 00:01:22:05 - 00:01:27:21 we had to turn off for fans, which has dropped our sensory level 00:01:27:21 - 00:01:31:06 so low that it is actively under stimulating, 00:01:31:06 - 00:01:35:24 which is just as upsetting to be in as being overstimulated. 00:01:35:26 - 00:01:39:02 So it's like so eerily quiet that when we stop talking, it's like, 00:01:39:03 - 00:01:42:06 okay, can we get some noise going on in here, please? 00:01:42:06 - 00:01:46:11 And then, of course, in the background to add to the overstim, 00:01:46:13 - 00:01:50:06 the cats are getting into something we don't actually know. 00:01:50:09 - 00:01:52:16 Should we should like. 00:01:52:16 - 00:01:54:26 Do you think the cats would be overstimming 00:01:54:26 - 00:01:57:25 if we allowed them like into the room? 00:01:57:25 - 00:01:58:16 I don't. 00:01:58:16 - 00:02:00:28 I don't know if you want to let them in. 00:02:00:28 - 00:02:04:00 That's, that's entirely up to you to give it a try. 00:02:04:00 - 00:02:07:28 As long as of course, it'll just make it a chaotic stream. 00:02:08:01 - 00:02:12:28 I can't wait to edit this thing later because I know 00:02:13:01 - 00:02:14:11 we're doing really good. 00:02:14:11 - 00:02:15:23 Max, how are you today? 00:02:15:23 - 00:02:19:23 We are in fact recording a podcast where we decided that 00:02:19:23 - 00:02:24:05 everybody seems to like our live stream so much that we are in fact going to start 00:02:24:07 - 00:02:28:25 recording a lot more and make it available on Spotify. 00:02:28:27 - 00:02:32:10 So if you guys are interested in our daily lives a little bit more, 00:02:32:12 - 00:02:34:13 we're going to try to do 00:02:34:13 - 00:02:37:17 are we going to do it daily or are we going to do a weekly? 00:02:37:17 - 00:02:40:05 Do we have do we really have a schedule? Not really. 00:02:40:05 - 00:02:41:09 I don't think so. 00:02:41:09 - 00:02:44:27 We are just going to kind of record when we feel like recording 00:02:44:27 - 00:02:47:08 and then when we have the spoons to record. 00:02:47:08 - 00:02:49:22 Yeah, and then we'll we're going to try. 00:02:49:22 - 00:02:55:05 I think what we decided was an upload schedule of once a week or so. 00:02:55:07 - 00:02:59:21 Yeah, once we get started, but it'll still take us a while to get started, right? 00:02:59:22 - 00:03:02:26 So at the moment there will be an introductory, 00:03:02:26 - 00:03:06:19 if you haven't already heard that, that'll be in the previous podcast. 00:03:06:19 - 00:03:11:22 And then this is episode one, but they will be released 00:03:11:24 - 00:03:15:14 on a set schedule instead of recorded on a set schedule. 00:03:15:14 - 00:03:18:11 So we might take like three or four recordings in a week 00:03:18:11 - 00:03:21:25 and it might take three weeks to hear all of those recordings 00:03:21:27 - 00:03:24:10 take a shot every time they say “um” *laughter* 00:03:24:13 - 00:03:28:00 Listen, listen, we are not responsible. 00:03:28:03 - 00:03:30:22 We are not responsible for anyone that ends up in the hospital. 00:03:30:22 - 00:03:31:29 Okay? 00:03:31:29 - 00:03:34:05 We are not taking responsibility for that. 00:03:34:05 - 00:03:36:28 If you take a shot every time we say 00:03:36:28 - 00:03:39:28 just lots of water, 00:03:40:03 - 00:03:42:24 upload schedule is a great way to keep the page active. 00:03:42:24 - 00:03:43:23 Yes. Yeah. 00:03:43:23 - 00:03:46:14 So we're going to we're going to have a once a week. 00:03:46:14 - 00:03:48:13 What do you reckon, release on a Friday. 00:03:48:13 - 00:03:53:02 could do Mondays and make people's like week starts at least 00:03:53:02 - 00:03:57:06 a little bit more if not a little better, a little bit more chaotic. 00:03:57:06 - 00:03:59:15 Would you rather be released on a monday? 00:03:59:15 - 00:04:02:03 It's too early to be drinking, but I'll take a 00:04:02:03 - 00:04:05:05 yeah, if you want to take a bong rip, it's a good time to do that. 00:04:05:10 - 00:04:09:28 That's a great time to do that, Have we eat and hydrated, I guess. 00:04:09:28 - 00:04:12:18 Actually I've got a water sitting in my lap. 00:04:12:18 - 00:04:17:04 I feel like the type of podcast that we're trying to have is perfect 00:04:17:04 - 00:04:20:04 for either 3 a.m. 00:04:20:04 - 00:04:24:18 in the middle of the week or on the way to work Monday morning. 00:04:24:18 - 00:04:28:06 What you're saying is, is that insomniac, overworked and underpaid person that’s salty? 00:04:28:08 - 00:04:31:21 That's exactly right. 00:04:31:21 - 00:04:37:00 So the biggest thing we started talking about overstim and understim... 00:04:37:02 - 00:04:40:05 So like right now, would you consider yourself like 00:04:40:05 - 00:04:44:13 overstimulated at or under stimulated I'm kind of I'm kind of neutral. 00:04:44:16 - 00:04:47:14 I was I was understimmed 00:04:47:14 - 00:04:49:22 But weirdly enough, opening 00:04:49:22 - 00:04:54:06 this door, I am in the perfect position that 00:04:54:08 - 00:04:57:19 I can now hear the fans from the other room. 00:04:57:22 - 00:05:01:16 And that is adding auditory stim just enough. 00:05:01:20 - 00:05:05:26 Plus the cats are giving me something to visually stim 00:05:05:26 - 00:05:08:26 to like watching them kind of play around 00:05:08:28 - 00:05:12:28 and especially petting him for a second was very grounding. 00:05:13:01 - 00:05:18:06 So I'd say at the moment, on a scale of like negative 00:05:18:06 - 00:05:22:02 ten to positive ten being over or under STEM 00:05:22:04 - 00:05:24:13 one B or zero being true 00:05:24:13 - 00:05:27:14 neutral, I'm probably at a like a negative three or so. 00:05:27:14 - 00:05:29:19 Like just just understand. 00:05:29:19 - 00:05:31:16 Funnily enough, that's about where I'm at. 00:05:31:16 - 00:05:33:05 Thank you so much for the gift Rose. (livestream response) 00:05:33:05 - 00:05:35:03 I appreciate that. 00:05:35:03 - 00:05:36:09 Are you both live? Yes. 00:05:36:09 - 00:05:41:04 Yes, I would say that I'm probably at and at and at a zero, 00:05:41:06 - 00:05:44:20 oddly enough, because I'm getting bounced back from the other room 00:05:44:20 - 00:05:48:05 off of this wall of boxes here, plus your computer 00:05:48:12 - 00:05:50:03 and then of course the cats right next to me. 00:05:50:03 - 00:05:51:20 So it's it's not super. 00:05:51:20 - 00:05:54:01 It's not either way. It's completely neutral. 00:05:54:01 - 00:05:55:29 Okay. So 00:05:56:02 - 00:05:57:18 we have a question about 00:05:57:18 - 00:06:02:10 what overstimulated and under stimulated for people that don't know 00:06:02:13 - 00:06:05:15 we are autistic and we have sensory processing 00:06:05:15 - 00:06:08:21 disorders and auditory processing disorders. 00:06:08:21 - 00:06:14:19 And what ends up happening is if it's too quiet, our brain can pick up on stuff 00:06:14:19 - 00:06:19:11 like the electrical in the wall or little, little tiny things in the distance 00:06:19:13 - 00:06:22:29 that feel like what to me, they feel kind of like 00:06:23:02 - 00:06:25:24 static directly on the eardrum. 00:06:25:24 - 00:06:27:23 And it's it's very uncomfortable. 00:06:27:23 - 00:06:33:09 So a way that, like I kind of visualize 00:06:33:10 - 00:06:38:26 overstim vs understim, um... 00:06:38:29 - 00:06:40:02 think back 00:06:40:02 - 00:06:43:13 if you went to public schools growing up, think back to 00:06:43:13 - 00:06:47:19 when you were like during lunch time in the cafeteria, 00:06:47:22 - 00:06:53:05 or if you were like the first one in the auditorium in the morning, 00:06:53:05 - 00:06:59:17 like before announcements and shit, like a giant ass room 00:06:59:19 - 00:07:02:02 either filled to the max 00:07:02:02 - 00:07:05:02 with 400 screaming kids 00:07:05:04 - 00:07:09:27 or a giant ass room where you're the only person there. 00:07:10:00 - 00:07:14:25 But, like, the differences is like if with overstim 00:07:14:29 - 00:07:18:20 in the cafeteria, like as a kid, you kind of filter everything out 00:07:18:20 - 00:07:21:29 and you're just as loud, as excited as everybody else. 00:07:22:02 - 00:07:25:23 So you're you're, you're shouting to your buddies and you're like, Yeah, 00:07:25:25 - 00:07:27:09 I love Pokemon cards. 00:07:27:09 - 00:07:30:12 Miss Miss Frizzle is a is a cool teacher in this. 00:07:30:17 - 00:07:32:07 Miss Norway is a bad teacher. 00:07:32:07 - 00:07:33:27 Oh, I fuckin hate miss Norway. 00:07:33:27 - 00:07:37:22 She gave us a test today, but it every other day, so. 00:07:37:24 - 00:07:40:03 But like, you've got, like, the same energy. 00:07:40:03 - 00:07:45:10 Imagine being in a class or in a cafeteria full of screaming kids. 00:07:45:13 - 00:07:49:27 But you're the teacher and you're hung over. 00:07:50:00 - 00:07:50:21 Oh, yeah. 00:07:50:21 - 00:07:54:03 And not just that, but you're on your cycle, 00:07:54:06 - 00:07:56:18 on your cycle hungover, 00:07:56:18 - 00:07:59:26 dealing with the divorce at home 00:07:59:28 - 00:08:04:01 like that's this is not a happy day. 00:08:04:01 - 00:08:06:02 Being overstimmed 00:08:06:02 - 00:08:11:20 And every time that you upset a kid, your pay's docked. 00:08:11:22 - 00:08:12:14 Yeah. 00:08:12:14 - 00:08:17:28 So like that's overstim on the other side though on the negative side 00:08:18:00 - 00:08:20:11 understim... it can be painfully quiet too 00:08:20:11 - 00:08:24:24 if you've ever been in an auditorium 00:08:24:26 - 00:08:29:22 or a theater by yourself, it's very cavernous 00:08:29:22 - 00:08:33:17 and every little microscopic sound is amplified. 00:08:33:21 - 00:08:37:01 And it's like the pressure of the silence. 00:08:37:01 - 00:08:40:17 Like, yeah, it presses on you physically. 00:08:40:17 - 00:08:42:15 It really does. 00:08:42:15 - 00:08:48:13 But like to add to that, depending on where you're understimmed... 00:08:48:15 - 00:08:50:29 Now imagine yourself 00:08:50:29 - 00:08:54:01 in a theater by yourself with the pressure 00:08:54:01 - 00:08:58:02 of the silence, but also like there's a random 00:08:58:02 - 00:09:03:29 ticking off to the left and you can you can't find it. 00:09:04:01 - 00:09:06:08 There's like the faint, 00:09:06:08 - 00:09:09:07 faintest hints of music, like bass 00:09:09:07 - 00:09:14:00 music off behind you, but you can't make out anything. 00:09:14:00 - 00:09:17:13 There's just like, just enough to be annoying and strain 00:09:17:13 - 00:09:20:13 your ears and, like, give you that headache. 00:09:20:20 - 00:09:24:27 The lights are flickering and buzzing 00:09:24:29 - 00:09:31:03 like it's it's under stimming is over stimming to me. 00:09:31:04 - 00:09:34:00 Like under stimming is painful. 00:09:34:00 - 00:09:37:17 And the thing about it is, is you can flip flop real fast. 00:09:37:17 - 00:09:38:06 Oh, yeah. 00:09:38:06 - 00:09:42:08 And in a room where it's just quiet enough to be under stimulated, 00:09:42:10 - 00:09:45:19 but there's noise in it, it can be simultaneously 00:09:45:19 - 00:09:48:19 under stimulating and overstimulating, 00:09:48:19 - 00:09:53:25 and it helps a lot for stuff like that to have either a white noise machine 00:09:53:25 - 00:09:57:28 or in our case, we have so many fans on, it doesn't ever get under stimulating it. 00:09:58:03 - 00:10:02:05 It stays constantly overstimulating, actually, except for now, 00:10:02:05 - 00:10:05:18 where we have to have all the fans off to be able to record 00:10:05:18 - 00:10:08:29 and like I can feel (And not be shourting) I can. 00:10:08:29 - 00:10:11:04 Well, I mean, like that's that's the thing though. 00:10:11:04 - 00:10:15:13 Like is, is like on the one hand it's good because we don't have to shout 00:10:15:13 - 00:10:18:12 and we can hear each other and that's that's nice and good. 00:10:18:12 - 00:10:21:18 But, but, but also I can hear the water fountain 00:10:21:18 - 00:10:24:28 in the other room and I can hear them. 00:10:25:00 - 00:10:27:05 I can hear the trickle even from over here. 00:10:27:05 - 00:10:30:02 I can hear them using the bathroom. 00:10:30:02 - 00:10:33:13 I can hear the frogs and the crickets outside. 00:10:33:16 - 00:10:36:21 I can hear the buzzing of the lights above me. 00:10:36:24 - 00:10:41:04 I can hear something scratching in the wall behind me like 00:10:41:06 - 00:10:45:00 I can hear everything. (Can hear the electricity buzzing) 00:10:45:03 - 00:10:48:20 We we actually to sleep. 00:10:48:22 - 00:10:51:26 We actually have a playlist of movies 00:10:52:03 - 00:10:55:16 that plays almost constantly on loop. 00:10:55:19 - 00:10:59:19 And it's it's low stim kind of movies, 00:10:59:22 - 00:11:04:24 mostly musicals such as we've got 00:11:04:27 - 00:11:08:17 not Fox in the Hound, but we've got 00:11:08:19 - 00:11:10:01 Frozen. 00:11:10:01 - 00:11:14:03 We've got Frozen movies The Lion King, both Frozen movies, 00:11:14:03 - 00:11:19:19 both Lion King's Last Unicorn, Um, The Princess and The Frog 00:11:19:19 - 00:11:23:24 and the Frog, a lot of a lot of nice, soft musicals. 00:11:23:25 - 00:11:26:24 Um, cars was on there, 00:11:26:24 - 00:11:30:14 but there's a scene in cars where, like, 00:11:30:16 - 00:11:34:11 Lightning McQueen gets, like, blasted with the hose, and I that 00:11:34:11 - 00:11:38:11 caused a panic from me because I was like, half asleep when it happened. 00:11:38:11 - 00:11:42:25 And it was nice and deathly quiet because he was asleep when it happened. 00:11:42:28 - 00:11:46:08 And like, it is when you're half asleep, 00:11:46:14 - 00:11:49:26 it is almost as if you got sprayed in the face yourself. 00:11:49:26 - 00:11:52:14 I woke up, especially with how humid it's been. 00:11:52:14 - 00:11:57:20 I woke up in a pool of sweat while listening to *Makes water-blasting noises* 00:11:57:22 - 00:11:58:03 and I 00:11:58:03 - 00:12:01:03 was just like, What the fuck is happening!? 00:12:01:07 - 00:12:04:18 I mean, it's the same goes for the scene where he honks his horn 00:12:04:18 - 00:12:08:14 at at the cattle and like, Yeah, and like the whole pasture falls over 00:12:08:15 - 00:12:11:21 I was just falling asleep too, in that seat, happy. 00:12:11:22 - 00:12:14:14 And I was just like, All right, fuck this. This is this. 00:12:14:14 - 00:12:16:28 This movie is now getting off of the playlist. 00:12:16:28 - 00:12:19:20 I can't do this. 00:12:19:20 - 00:12:21:24 It's one of those 00:12:21:24 - 00:12:26:21 constant juggles of like, you need the right stimuli. 00:12:26:24 - 00:12:29:23 You literally, you got to dig for the right stimuli 00:12:29:23 - 00:12:33:22 or you have to, like, balance out the loud and quiet. 00:12:33:23 - 00:12:37:17 Because if you get the wrong mixture of sounds, they can keep 00:12:37:17 - 00:12:41:11 you overstimulated, followed by under stimulated, followed by overstimulated. 00:12:41:11 - 00:12:45:09 And then you get when you do get the right balance, you have to basically keep 00:12:45:09 - 00:12:50:25 that going for as long as possible to reach like a deeper sleep level 00:12:50:28 - 00:12:54:01 That’s another thing to is like overstimming, understimming... 00:12:54:01 - 00:12:55:25 It's not just auditory. 00:12:55:25 - 00:13:00:04 It is very much physical and visual as well. 00:13:00:07 - 00:13:03:19 And like the up and down and up and down thing 00:13:03:21 - 00:13:08:04 that I like to talk about, the physical side of everything, 00:13:08:04 - 00:13:13:08 something that I've been dealing with a lot recently is the up and down 00:13:13:08 - 00:13:17:09 and up and down of the temperature and the humidity and everything getting to me. 00:13:17:09 - 00:13:20:17 So one thing about our bodies, 00:13:20:20 - 00:13:23:11 the Hawking body 00:13:23:11 - 00:13:25:27 is very, very cold, sensitive, 00:13:25:27 - 00:13:29:26 and the Ryder body is very, very 00:13:29:29 - 00:13:31:00 I'm sorry, the other way. 00:13:31:00 - 00:13:36:11 They're very heat sensitive and I'm very cold sensitive, so they overheat 00:13:36:11 - 00:13:42:12 very, very easily and overheating is overstimulating for them. 00:13:42:14 - 00:13:46:26 I get cold very, very easily. 00:13:46:28 - 00:13:52:07 And it's not just over stimming in the sense of like, I don't like this. 00:13:52:07 - 00:13:56:03 I literally like my my. 00:13:56:05 - 00:13:59:01 And I don't know what the condition is because I haven't, 00:13:59:01 - 00:14:02:22 like, been able to get diagnosed with anything. 00:14:02:24 - 00:14:05:24 But the cold makes my joints 00:14:05:24 - 00:14:09:04 and everything like lock up and shit 00:14:09:07 - 00:14:14:01 and like, I'm not just like talking like, oh, you know, when it gets to fifties. 00:14:14:01 - 00:14:19:00 Now if it's anything below 70, my limbs start to lock up 00:14:19:02 - 00:14:21:12 because of how cold it is. 00:14:21:12 - 00:14:26:01 And like, one thing that we have been dealing with, 00:14:26:01 - 00:14:29:05 especially here, is the house 00:14:29:05 - 00:14:32:28 has to be kept cold to not overheat. 00:14:32:29 - 00:14:36:21 Hawking, but the air around us is very, 00:14:36:21 - 00:14:42:17 very hot and the house isn't sealed and it's full of pockets and holes 00:14:42:17 - 00:14:46:18 and and like weird currents and all this shit. 00:14:46:18 - 00:14:50:21 So the entire house is very up and down, hot and cold, Up and down. 00:14:50:21 - 00:14:56:28 Hot and cold as well as humid as fuck. 00:14:57:00 - 00:15:00:28 So, like, for my body, I can deal with the heat pretty well, 00:15:00:28 - 00:15:06:21 but the humidity gets to me and literally bites into my skin. 00:15:06:23 - 00:15:10:22 So I go through literally back and forth rapidly. 00:15:10:22 - 00:15:14:19 I'll go from cold and biting and moist 00:15:14:19 - 00:15:19:18 and blehhhg to overheating 00:15:19:21 - 00:15:24:00 or freezing to like just back and forth. 00:15:24:00 - 00:15:27:27 I feel like a frog that's like a, Like 00:15:27:29 - 00:15:34:13 I feel like a frog in a hot pan in like a frozen tundra. 00:15:34:15 - 00:15:37:00 That's an apt description 00:15:37:00 - 00:15:38:02 for note. 00:15:38:02 - 00:15:41:17 I just went and checked the temperature and humidity in this room. 00:15:41:17 - 00:15:45:15 It's 75f degrees with 57% humidity. 00:15:45:18 - 00:15:48:26 For me, I feel over moisturized 00:15:48:28 - 00:15:53:04 and slightly warm, but not overly uncomfortably warm. 00:15:53:06 - 00:15:56:05 And I feel actually, 00:15:56:05 - 00:15:59:27 as far as the warmth goes, I'm actually to the point where 00:15:59:28 - 00:16:04:06 I'm starting to get a little bit dry, like in this very moment. 00:16:04:06 - 00:16:05:28 Normally it's as humid as fuck, 00:16:05:28 - 00:16:09:14 but in this very moment my skin is actually a little bit dry 00:16:09:17 - 00:16:14:13 and I'm wearing a jacket and it's 75 because I am a little bit chilly. 00:16:14:15 - 00:16:18:27 So just to show the difference between where and like he's wearing sweatpants 00:16:18:27 - 00:16:22:26 and a like a sweatshirt zip up sweatshirt 00:16:22:28 - 00:16:26:09 and he's a little bit chilly, I'm over here wearing shorts 00:16:26:09 - 00:16:30:12 and a tank top, and I'm a little bit warm just by comparison. 00:16:30:12 - 00:16:34:05 And we so the overstim and the understim 00:16:34:07 - 00:16:36:24 it's hard to balance between the two of us because we're 00:16:36:24 - 00:16:39:21 literally polar opposites when it comes to temperature. 00:16:39:21 - 00:16:45:03 But we both share the dislike for humidity because the higher humidity keeping us. 00:16:45:05 - 00:16:48:23 It's a texture issue like it feels kind of slimy, 00:16:48:23 - 00:16:51:29 which not to trigger anybody’s like distaste for that. 00:16:51:29 - 00:16:54:29 But you know, it honestly is very 00:16:55:00 - 00:16:57:15 it's ick whenever you can wiggle your fingers 00:16:57:15 - 00:17:02:13 and they just do that thing where they're not supposed to 00:17:02:15 - 00:17:07:06 So constant battle of temperature and trying to balance that. 00:17:07:06 - 00:17:09:07 So we have to have the right amount of light. 00:17:09:07 - 00:17:12:09 So a lot of our videos end up having darker backgrounds 00:17:12:09 - 00:17:16:16 and like lower light because light is overstimulating, 00:17:16:18 - 00:17:21:00 humidity is overstimulating being too hot or too cold, I would call 00:17:21:04 - 00:17:25:26 I would refer to myself as like the Princess and the Pea often. 00:17:25:28 - 00:17:28:29 And I don't know if you... you are a princess. 00:17:29:02 - 00:17:31:11 I don't know if you know the story of Princess and the Pea. 00:17:31:11 - 00:17:36:29 The gist is basically there is literally a pea on the 00:17:37:03 - 00:17:40:11 like the lowest mattress of this princess's 00:17:40:11 - 00:17:43:20 bed that has like 15 mattresses stacked up on it. 00:17:43:23 - 00:17:46:13 And she's still uncomfortable because she can feel the pea 00:17:46:13 - 00:17:49:03 all the way down to the bottom of the stack. 00:17:49:03 - 00:17:49:15 The see, 00:17:49:15 - 00:17:53:20 what's even more fitting about that story is they didn't know it was a pea. 00:17:53:22 - 00:17:57:15 They didn't know she she starts off with one bed 00:17:57:18 - 00:18:03:04 and she's like, yeah, cause this is real uncomfy and I can't figure out what to do. 00:18:03:04 - 00:18:07:04 I've tried all the different positions, I've tried all the different beddings, 00:18:07:06 - 00:18:09:04 and I don't know what to do. 00:18:09:04 - 00:18:12:04 And they're like, Well, here's another mattress. 00:18:12:04 - 00:18:14:07 And she's like, 00:18:14:10 - 00:18:15:13 cool thanks... 00:18:15:13 - 00:18:18:25 I guess... it's still really uncomfy. 00:18:19:00 - 00:18:21:16 Okay, here's another mattress. 00:18:21:16 - 00:18:25:24 Moral of the story is they didn't solve the root of the problem, so the 00:18:25:24 - 00:18:29:12 Problem persisted even with constant like additives. 00:18:29:16 - 00:18:34:15 So literally battling stimulation is a thing for us. 00:18:34:18 - 00:18:35:21 So that's that's that 00:18:35:21 - 00:18:40:15 There's a literal whole subject though we could keep going on that almost 00:18:40:17 - 00:18:44:03 so the other thing that about stimulation 00:18:44:09 - 00:18:48:27 is like we've talked about lighting and humidity and sound and stuff, 00:18:48:29 - 00:18:52:00 but texture texture is another 00:18:52:00 - 00:18:55:13 big one, like the fabrics. 00:18:55:15 - 00:18:58:14 But if you touch I don't know if anybody knows what sherpa... (shhheerrrrppaaaa) 00:18:58:14 - 00:18:59:25 Sure. Yeah, SHERPA! 00:18:59:25 - 00:19:03:26 If that was the first one that came to mind, if you know what Sherpa is 00:19:03:28 - 00:19:07:24 or microfiber cloth, those are like the bane of my existence. 00:19:07:24 - 00:19:11:21 They have the same effect on my fingertips as somebody dragging their fingernails 00:19:11:21 - 00:19:14:28 across a chalkboard or for me 00:19:15:00 - 00:19:17:08 Sherpa feels like 00:19:17:08 - 00:19:21:08 raw cotton, And I'm the I can handle cotton balls, 00:19:21:11 - 00:19:25:01 but raw cotton like raw on the stalk. 00:19:25:06 - 00:19:28:13 It's like, real scratchy and rough. 00:19:28:16 - 00:19:28:28 Yeah. 00:19:28:28 - 00:19:33:27 And it like, it pulls at the skin, 00:19:34:00 - 00:19:37:28 like all of the little imperfections in the skin. 00:19:38:06 - 00:19:39:16 Like little hooks. 00:19:39:16 - 00:19:42:04 Oh, Sherpa. 00:19:42:04 - 00:19:45:07 Sherpa, Sherpa pisses me off... So anything with a hooky texture to it 00:19:45:14 - 00:19:46:28 Like wool. 00:19:46:28 - 00:19:48:08 Like raw wool. 00:19:48:08 - 00:19:50:15 Raw wool, cotton, cotton balls. 00:19:50:15 - 00:19:52:00 Actually, that's a different look. 00:19:52:00 - 00:19:55:09 On a different note, I just realized I actually don't. 00:19:55:09 - 00:19:56:15 I can't do cotton. 00:19:56:15 - 00:19:59:29 They do cotton balls, but I can't do the cotton pads. 00:20:00:02 - 00:20:03:17 Those like the makeup remover pads come in a stack. 00:20:03:17 - 00:20:05:19 Those things are like 00:20:05:22 - 00:20:07:28 they as soon as my fingernails touch them 00:20:07:28 - 00:20:12:11 and it hooks into my fingernails, I'm like, I want to rub my hand 00:20:12:11 - 00:20:16:19 all over some other texture to reset my texture issues. 00:20:16:21 - 00:20:21:01 And so it ends up being textures are a huge thing. 00:20:21:01 - 00:20:25:02 Like if I sit in the wrong chair, leather, I love leather 00:20:25:02 - 00:20:29:25 as a random accessory, but as a wardrobe or as a couch. 00:20:30:01 - 00:20:30:22 Oh, God. 00:20:30:22 - 00:20:34:13 Leather couches are so painful. 00:20:34:15 - 00:20:36:20 The sound they make, the texture 00:20:36:20 - 00:20:39:20 they make there, the moisture retention, like, 00:20:39:24 - 00:20:44:10 especially if they're that fake rubbery kind of leather or the faux leather. 00:20:44:12 - 00:20:45:09 Oh, it. 00:20:45:09 - 00:20:48:10 If it's an older faux leather, it tends to get sticky too. 00:20:48:10 - 00:20:52:07 So it's like is yeah, I don't know how how even worse 00:20:52:07 - 00:20:56:08 if it's like centuries old and it's like all crackled on the butt...yeah. 00:20:56:09 - 00:20:59:22 Oh my God... so it pinches you when you sit 00:20:59:22 - 00:21:04:17 I've been legit cut by, by a fucking couch that was like worn out 00:21:04:17 - 00:21:07:28 and had the crackle crackles in and I slid on that couch 00:21:07:28 - 00:21:13:05 and it legit scraped and cut my leg hard enough to bleed ughhh 00:21:13:06 - 00:21:14:25 It was so bad. 00:21:14:25 - 00:21:16:00 That's not fun. 00:21:16:00 - 00:21:20:25 It was so baaaad I know my mom had a, like, a maroon 00:21:20:25 - 00:21:25:05 leather couch and it was.. Why did I know it was maroon too? 00:21:25:05 - 00:21:26:23 I was picturing a maroon one. 00:21:26:23 - 00:21:31:17 I think it's like it's comfortable at first when it's still cool. 00:21:31:17 - 00:21:33:26 You're like, Oh, this is a nice, cool couch. 00:21:33:26 - 00:21:35:08 It's comfortable. 00:21:35:08 - 00:21:38:05 10 minutes later, you're like, It's hot and sticky, 00:21:38:05 - 00:21:41:05 You're moving around and 00:21:41:08 - 00:21:43:22 it's just it sucks in the wintertime. 00:21:43:22 - 00:21:45:16 It sucks in the summertime. 00:21:45:16 - 00:21:50:08 Leather couches are good for all of like, five... *laughter* 00:21:50:10 - 00:21:50:22 Is that 00:21:50:22 - 00:21:56:10 the sound of your legs peeling away? 00:21:56:13 - 00:21:57:25 Well, this is this is what happens. 00:21:57:25 - 00:21:59:24 So you sit there and you. 00:21:59:24 - 00:22:04:08 You get maybe 5 minutes before your body heats it up to level 00:22:04:10 - 00:22:07:23 like to a level which you start sticking to that shit. 00:22:07:23 - 00:22:10:23 And if you're not wearing full coverage clothes 00:22:10:29 - 00:22:15:08 and then if you do wear full coverage like cotton, you create static 00:22:15:11 - 00:22:18:04 and then you end up I don't know if any of you guys like overstimmed 00:22:18:04 - 00:22:21:22 by static, but sometimes that can be irritating, 00:22:21:22 - 00:22:26:09 especially if it's like tickling the hair up and down your arms constantly. 00:22:26:11 - 00:22:29:02 That happens sometimes with leather. 00:22:29:02 - 00:22:34:12 Another touch textile that is triggering that we deal 00:22:34:12 - 00:22:40:22 with on a fairly regular basis is unfortunately our water. 00:22:40:25 - 00:22:47:21 For those that might not be aware, water can be soft and water can be hard. 00:22:47:24 - 00:22:50:07 And there is a difference. It's all liquid. 00:22:50:07 - 00:22:52:28 I don't mean like, oh, a hard water is ice. 00:22:52:28 - 00:22:58:04 I mean like the chemical compounds in the water content, the calcium content 00:22:58:04 - 00:23:03:02 and the well, not just the calcium, but like the minerals at all. And 00:23:03:04 - 00:23:05:19 so you can have soft and hard water. 00:23:05:19 - 00:23:10:22 Soft water feels almost like the water itself is literally wet. 00:23:10:24 - 00:23:13:14 Hard water feels like chalk. 00:23:13:14 - 00:23:16:13 It literally is dehydrating 00:23:16:13 - 00:23:19:22 water and the tap water 00:23:19:24 - 00:23:25:06 and the the the the pipe like the shower water here in this area, 00:23:25:06 - 00:23:30:25 no matter what filters we put on it, no matter what we do to water ourselves, 00:23:30:28 - 00:23:33:28 the water source, water is a very hard water here. 00:23:33:28 - 00:23:34:14 The source? 00:23:34:14 - 00:23:38:24 Yeah, the source water is a very hard water and it hurts my body a lot. 00:23:38:26 - 00:23:44:18 Literally, like any other shower my entire life, I would spend 00:23:44:20 - 00:23:47:12 a decent amount in the shower. 00:23:47:12 - 00:23:50:06 Like the shower was always my thinking spot. 00:23:50:06 - 00:23:51:28 It was always like the place of 00:23:51:28 - 00:23:55:19 warmth, of solitude where I could just take a chill pill. 00:23:55:21 - 00:23:57:27 No one expects me to be anywhere. 00:23:57:27 - 00:23:59:19 Nobody's trying to talk to me. 00:23:59:19 - 00:24:03:03 It's the one place where I could just fucking think. 00:24:03:05 - 00:24:07:16 And I cannot take showers here in this building 00:24:07:16 - 00:24:11:15 for more than I'd say. 00:24:11:17 - 00:24:16:25 Probably five, 10 minutes before my body starts. 00:24:16:26 - 00:24:20:15 Like, feeling like, 00:24:20:17 - 00:24:23:07 well, like it's not really chalky. 00:24:23:07 - 00:24:26:26 It feels like my body's made out of rubber all of a sudden, Like, my. 00:24:26:26 - 00:24:30:10 My skin rubbing against itself feels like it 00:24:30:12 - 00:24:34:08 catches on like rubber does or like a wet balloon. 00:24:34:11 - 00:24:36:25 Got to hop out of the shower looking like a starfish. 00:24:36:25 - 00:24:39:11 Yeah, Just like I won't touch myself. 00:24:39:11 - 00:24:43:15 Oh, please, please don't touch me. 00:24:43:18 - 00:24:46:04 And it really it's really upsetting. 00:24:46:04 - 00:24:50:03 And it's because it especially it gets worse after I like. 00:24:50:03 - 00:24:53:11 Okay in the not to be a little 00:24:53:11 - 00:24:57:13 like personal with it but like my my shower routine. 00:24:57:13 - 00:24:57:23 Right. 00:24:57:23 - 00:25:02:08 I get in there and I go top down so I do shampoo 00:25:02:10 - 00:25:04:08 and then I do conditioner, 00:25:04:08 - 00:25:08:23 and I will usually sit there enjoying the warmth for a minute 00:25:08:24 - 00:25:11:29 because, like it takes a minute for the water 00:25:11:29 - 00:25:15:25 to to seep into my skin and like, 00:25:15:25 - 00:25:20:11 cause that issue until I wash, 00:25:20:14 - 00:25:24:11 as soon as I wash, like with, with soap and get all the 00:25:24:13 - 00:25:28:09 the natural oils off of my skin, as soon as I get the oils off 00:25:28:09 - 00:25:32:14 my skin, that water soaks and soaks in like that. 00:25:32:16 - 00:25:36:00 And all of a sudden it's like *cringe noises* 00:25:36:03 - 00:25:37:20 my body 00:25:37:20 - 00:25:41:23 on the other end of that, too soft of water can feel kind of slimy. 00:25:41:29 - 00:25:42:22 Oh, yeah. 00:25:42:22 - 00:25:44:07 So it goes back to feeling 00:25:44:07 - 00:25:47:11 like you're sweating instead of like actually showering. 00:25:47:11 - 00:25:50:17 And that's why a lot of places try to shoot 00:25:50:17 - 00:25:53:17 for a neutral PH level in their water. 00:25:53:17 - 00:25:56:25 Unfortunately, like, like he said, where we're living, 00:25:56:27 - 00:26:01:03 the water is such a hard water, like it's way up there 00:26:01:05 - 00:26:05:12 that it almost instantly feels like you're coated in like chalk, 00:26:05:18 - 00:26:09:14 literal calcium, and you can feel it and it ends up making that 00:26:09:19 - 00:26:13:26 that rubbery sound you get so quickly. 00:26:13:26 - 00:26:17:12 Whereas with like a softer water, 00:26:17:15 - 00:26:18:12 the softer water, 00:26:18:12 - 00:26:22:25 you can like rub your hands together and it doesn't feel quite so aggressive, 00:26:22:25 - 00:26:26:20 you know, can you think of anything outside of textures, visuals and sound? 00:26:26:23 - 00:26:31:21 Does the body overstim or overstim you sometimes? like my own body over stimming? 00:26:31:21 - 00:26:32:27 Me Oh hell yeah. 00:26:32:27 - 00:26:33:21 All the time. 00:26:33:21 - 00:26:37:02 God, by my between. 00:26:37:04 - 00:26:40:27 Okay, so 00:26:40:29 - 00:26:44:08 part, part, part of being Neurodiverse 00:26:44:11 - 00:26:47:14 is struggling with your own neurodivergency 00:26:47:14 - 00:26:52:29 quite a lot and having contradictions with yourself. 00:26:53:01 - 00:26:58:03 And one of my contradictions is my dysphoria. 00:26:58:06 - 00:27:01:06 Like my gender dysphoria really, 00:27:01:10 - 00:27:05:12 really, really likes my body hair. 00:27:05:14 - 00:27:07:28 In fact, I wish I had more body hair. 00:27:07:28 - 00:27:10:03 Not not, not the wiry shit. 00:27:10:03 - 00:27:13:20 I don't actually like body hair like on other people 00:27:13:23 - 00:27:17:00 because I don't like the texture of body hair, 00:27:17:03 - 00:27:21:23 but I like the visual ness or the visual esthetic of body hair. 00:27:21:23 - 00:27:26:19 And for me, like I wish my body hair was a little bit like thicker 00:27:26:20 - 00:27:27:23 if I'm being honest 00:27:27:23 - 00:27:32:05 and like in more places and shit... so you like the longer softer hair? I do. 00:27:32:09 - 00:27:34:28 But on the other hand, 00:27:34:28 - 00:27:39:06 wearing clothes at all, 00:27:39:08 - 00:27:40:16 it rubs you all the time. 00:27:40:16 - 00:27:41:00 I get that right in here *gestures to chest*. 00:27:41:00 - 00:27:44:16 And especially with my trauma with bugs and shit. 00:27:44:23 - 00:27:49:12 Oh, it sets off my bug trauma, my bug textures all the fucking time. 00:27:49:12 - 00:27:53:10 I constantly feel like there are bugs on my arms, or especially 00:27:53:10 - 00:27:57:23 because I've been trying to like grow the hyena patch recently. 00:27:57:26 - 00:28:00:21 The fun fact about body hair is there's 00:28:00:21 - 00:28:03:21 a thing called like pile on erection, 00:28:03:22 - 00:28:07:05 which is whenever the hairs on your body stand up 00:28:07:05 - 00:28:10:06 due to goose bumps and things like that, I'm pretty sure I could be wrong. 00:28:10:07 - 00:28:11:16 You might want to fact check me on that. 00:28:11:16 - 00:28:16:07 If you're at this part, I will very much be looking up “pile on erection.” 00:28:16:09 - 00:28:18:27 I cannot if that may not even be 00:28:18:27 - 00:28:22:05 how you pronounce it, but it is literally a term. 00:28:22:06 - 00:28:23:10 It's interesting. 00:28:23:10 - 00:28:27:15 A pile on erection is probably not how 00:28:27:17 - 00:28:31:28 You pronounce whatever you're talking about. 00:28:32:01 - 00:28:33:09 Well, we could call it 00:28:33:09 - 00:28:36:26 like phallic erection, which sounds even worse 00:28:36:28 - 00:28:42:17 Hair follicle. *dies of laughter* 00:28:42:19 - 00:28:44:10 I don't have my phone right next to me. 00:28:44:10 - 00:28:46:17 But yeah, essentially it's full of essence. 00:28:46:17 - 00:28:58:26 That's *futher fits of laughter* 00:28:58:28 - 00:29:01:28 bonus content... anyway, bonus content... 00:29:02:05 - 00:29:08:20 So subscribe to our OnlyFans. 00:29:08:22 - 00:29:12:08 But this episode brought to you by right. 00:29:12:08 - 00:29:16:14 This episode is sponsored to you by Colgate Total (not literally) 00:29:16:16 - 00:29:17:07 washing those 00:29:17:07 - 00:29:18:20 Bad textures out of your mouth 00:29:18:20 - 00:29:23:01 that happen from eating the wrong type of food that can overstim your mouth... God 00:29:23:03 - 00:29:27:02 toothpaste, toothpaste is such an overstimulating thing for me. 00:29:27:02 - 00:29:29:29 I have never found a good toothpaste. 00:29:29:29 - 00:29:34:14 Toothpaste is not autism friendly in the slightest, 00:29:34:14 - 00:29:40:08 especially if it's grainy, like, Oh yeah, 00:29:40:10 - 00:29:43:03 I'm sorry, I don't want to scrub my teeth with sad. 00:29:43:03 - 00:29:46:12 That makes me feel like I'm scraping my teeth away. 00:29:46:14 - 00:29:47:20 Yeah, it's not. It's not. 00:29:47:20 - 00:29:49:29 It's not a pleasant, pleasant experience. 00:29:49:29 - 00:29:50:26 It really isn't. 00:29:50:26 - 00:29:53:08 Hydration. Check, by the way. Hydration? 00:29:53:08 - 00:29:55:23 Yeah. If you have listened to this far in the video, 00:29:55:23 - 00:29:57:12 this is your official hydration. 00:29:57:12 - 00:30:00:04 It is about 35 minutes into the podcast. 00:30:00:04 - 00:30:02:28 You need to drink some gawt dayum wouter. 00:30:02:28 - 00:30:06:00 And if you haven't eaten anything and you've have some snacks. 00:30:06:06 - 00:30:07:05 Right. Have a snack. 00:30:07:05 - 00:30:08:04 If it's 3 a.m., 00:30:08:04 - 00:30:12:11 if you're listening to it in the lunch time, you know, lunch is good, by the way. 00:30:12:14 - 00:30:14:28 But it's a good time to take a pause. 00:30:14:28 - 00:30:16:08 Take care of yourself. 00:30:16:08 - 00:30:19:21 We're nearly through with the podcast is toward the end. 00:30:19:21 - 00:30:21:18 We've probably got about 5 minutes left. 00:30:21:18 - 00:30:30:02 So like closing thoughts on this particular episode comes a spicy air break and 00:30:30:05 - 00:30:32:08 whatever else you might need to do. 00:30:32:08 - 00:30:35:23 But the next episode, I would say 00:30:35:26 - 00:30:38:21 we could have another prompt either from our live streams. 00:30:38:21 - 00:30:42:22 If you follow us on TikTok or any of our other social media is 00:30:42:24 - 00:30:47:11 and if you can think of anything you'd like to hear on a future episode, 00:30:47:11 - 00:30:52:15 be it like episode two, 3, ten, if we make it to 100, whatever. 00:30:52:17 - 00:30:56:03 So just let us know what you'd like to hear in the next episode 00:30:56:06 - 00:30:59:19 and we'll try and call them spicy air breaks. 00:30:59:21 - 00:31:02:09 Yeah, that's exactly it. A spicy air break. 00:31:02:09 - 00:31:06:06 So if you're listening to this, we've probably already started 00:31:06:06 - 00:31:07:13 recording another episode. 00:31:07:13 - 00:31:11:11 So, you know, don't be surprised if the subject is delayed a bit. 00:31:11:13 - 00:31:13:19 anyway, so I hope you guys have a great day. 00:31:13:19 - 00:31:14:25 Stay hydrated. 00:31:14:25 - 00:31:17:01 Eat something. Drink something. Take care of yourselves.